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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981,1991 and 2001. summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

the three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981,1991 and 2001. summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
the
Fix capitalization
The
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 pie charts illustrate how a particular UK school
alter
Wrong verb form
altered
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 its yearly budget in 1981,1991
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 2001
Linking Words
overall
Fix capitalization
Overall
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, teachers’ salaries made up the largest proportion of spending in 1981,1991 and 2001,
while
Linking Words
 insurance occupied the smallest
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 of
budget
Correct article usage
the budget
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in
Fix capitalization
In
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 1981, the school spent the
biggest
Correct word choice
largest
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 amount of money on teachers’ salaries, at 40%.
Linking Words
this
Fix capitalization
This
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 rose to 50% in
1991
Punctuation problem
1991,
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 after that it dropped slightly to 45% in 2001.
speanding
Correct your spelling
spending
 on other workers’ salaries decreased within 30 years, from 28% in 1981 to 22% in 1991, and
then
Linking Words
 to 15% in 2001.
Linking Words
however
Fix capitalization
However
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, the quantity of
paying
Replace the word
payment
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 on furniture and
equient
Correct your spelling
equipment
 saw significant variation.
it
Fix capitalization
It
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 was 15% in 1981, went down sharply to 5% in 1991, but increased dramatically to 23% by 2001.
resources
Fix capitalization
Resources
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such
Linking Words
 as books experienced
also
Linking Words
arose
Use the right word
rose
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 from 15% to 20% between 1981 and 1991,
then
Linking Words
 plunged to only 9% in 2001.
insurance
Fix capitalization
Insurance
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 represented the smallest spending in all years, but it slowly increased.
the
Fix capitalization
The
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 particular UK school spent from only 2% in 1981 to 3% in 1991
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the figure continued to
raise
Use the right word
rise
show examples
 to 8% in 2001.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • spending distribution
  • annual expenditures
  • budget allocation
  • highest expenditures
  • fluctuations
  • budget priorities
  • reduced spending
  • increased spending
  • emphasis
  • significant changes
  • consistent emphasis
  • rising costs
  • noteworthy shifts
  • spending patterns
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