IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The law should be changed to protect historic buildings, according to some people. Other people believe that change in this area is always positive and that new buildings should replace the old ones. Analyze and express your thoughts on both of these points of view.

According to
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 some
people
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, certain
laws
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 should be changed to protect historical
buildings
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.
On the other hand
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, there are
also
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 some
people
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 who have the opposite point of view. Both sides have their own positive and negative impacts on social life that will be discussed in
this
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 essay. Strict
laws
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 in order to protect historical
buildings
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 will surely benefit those areas, and
people
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 will be more aware of the historical
buildings
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 themselves and not see them as a small thing.
For instance
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, in England, where a lot of places are considered historical
sites
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, there are some rules that need to be acknowledged for both locals and tourists if they don't want to end up in jail. Strict
laws
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also
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 help preserve the historical
buildings
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 in England. To illustrate,
people
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 may find those historical
sites
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 as important aspects of their
country
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's history that need to be preserved and taken care of like their own deeds.
Therefore
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, British
people
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 are likely to be more careful with their own behaviour around those historical places. At some point, historical
buildings
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 could hinder the
country
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's development. To illustrate, some train stations in crowded areas that are considered as historical
sites
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 in the UK
,
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apply
show examples
 tend to prevent the government from building new modern stations with advanced technologies.
Consequently
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, the public transport does not operate efficiently
due to
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 the lack of technologies it has and is insufficient for the
people
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.
Then
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, replacing the old
buildings
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 with an advanced and modern structure surely overcomes the problems. In conclusion, strict
laws
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 in order to protect historical
sites
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 have a great impact on terms history of the
country
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. Meanwhile, changing historical
sites
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 for the
country
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's development will
also
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 bring some positive impacts to the
people
Use synonyms
. Both point of view has their own advantages and disadvantages to society.

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task
Your view is not clear. Say which side you think is best, or what you think should be done.
task
In the intro, tell what you will talk about and give your own view at the end in the conclusion.
coherence
Link ideas better. Use more simple words like and, but, also, then, so to show how points are linked.
coherence
Each paragraph should hold one main idea and a few details to make it strong.
task
Use examples that directly go with your point, and be short and clear.
strength
You show both sides of the issue.
strength
There are real examples from England.
strength
The essay ends with a note that both sides have good parts.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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