IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

It is better for the students to live away from the home during their university studies rather than staying with their parents. To what extent you agree or disagree

The massive responsibility of guiding children toward the correct path in life is on the shoulders of parents.
While
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 some opine
it
Correct word choice
that it
show examples
 is an approach for children to live far away from their home during the period of higher education, in my view, underestimating the importance of being beside family members is not logical. On the one hand, living independently goes a long way in personal growth among students.
For example
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, when they have to live alone, they are responsible for meeting their daily demands,
such
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 as purchasing groceries, cooking, and even doing household chores.
As a result
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, they understand how to stand on their own feet, which plays a crucial role in turning into a better version of themselves.
On the other hand
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, it can pose a threat to their mental health. So seriously has benefiting from social support affected many students’ minds that they strongly believe spending time in a home atmosphere is one of the most effective ways to prevent social isolation, since the more they have
this
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 chance to interact with others, the more they stop themselves from overthinking.
Moreover
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, being beside family members allows children to save their money. They have the chance to receive financial support from their parents, which makes a valuable contribution in decreasing the level of stress that they suffer from
due to
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 educational expenses.
Therefore
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, it gives them a sense of relaxation as they can count on others in times of difficulty. In conclusion,
although
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 studying at university allows individuals to experience many ups and downs, leading to an independent personality, I believe the role of family is too important to be ignored.

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structure
Plan your writing with a clear plan. State your main aim in the first sentence and keep to it. Use a simple path of ideas so the reader can follow.
grammar
Be careful with grammar and form. Break long sentences and fix mistakes in subject-verb and verb forms.
content
Give clear evidence. Use one or two specific facts from life or study and explain how they link to your point.
task
Make a clear stance in introduction and restate it in conclusion. Stay on topic from start to end.
content
Your stance is clear. You state that family is very important.
structure
You use ‘on the one hand’ and ‘on the other hand’ to show two sides.
vocabulary
Examples such as buying food and help from parents are good to support ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • time management
  • organizational skills
  • diverse social environments
  • broader network
  • professional contacts
  • accommodation
  • financial burden
  • emotional support
  • psychological support
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • academic pressures
  • familial support system
  • distraction
  • focused study environment
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