IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

in some countries very few young people are willing to do unpaid cimmunity service (for example, working for a charity, imroving the neighborhood, ot teaching sports to younger children

Community
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service
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 is a useful
way
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 of helping in areas where the local government is unable to.
However
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, as it is unpaid, the idea is often not very appealing to young
people
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.
This
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 causes problems that it is important to find solutions to.
Community
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service
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 and charitable programs generally help to take care of the most vulnerable in society.
This
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 can mean providing food and care for the poor, the homeless, or the elderly, or it may mean improving the public spaces where they live. If young
people
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 do not become involved in
this
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 work, the responsibility falls to older
people
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, who may have the time but not the physical strength or resources needed.
As a result
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, the vulnerable will suffer
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the places where they live will eventually deteriorate. Unless the problem is solved, the culture of taking care of others could disappear. A
community
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 where
people
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 only think about themselves is not a healthy one, so it is important to find a solution. There are several ways to approach
this
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 problem. The
first,
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and perhaps most obvious, is to make
community
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service
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 compulsory for all high school students.
While
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this
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 would go a long
way
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 to solving the problem, it may not be easy to implement and is likely to be unpopular. A
second,
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and more successful approach, would be to find a
way
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 to encourage younger
people
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 to help.
For example
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, by making sure they receive training and learn useful skills in return for their efforts. Participants could
also
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 be given good references to improve their employment prospects.
This
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 would mean even more if employers actively looked for
this
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 type of experience when recruiting.
Therefore
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, an effective solution requires more than the efforts of young
people
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. In conclusion,
community
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service
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 is an important part of any society
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 everyone suffers if it fails. In my view, the best
way
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 to encourage young
people
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 to get involved is to offer good incentives and to show just how important it is to everyone.

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task achievement
The introduction clearly states the topic and outlines the problems, but you might add a clear thesis statement to show your main argument.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or personal experiences to support your claims. This will strengthen your arguments and make the essay more engaging.
coherence and cohesion
Your points are generally well-organized, but using more linking words (like 'firstly', 'secondly', 'for example') could improve the flow and make the connections clearer.
content
You present a clear understanding of the issues related to community service and its importance in society.
content
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reinforces the importance of community service.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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