IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think parents should read pr tell stories to children. Others think parents needn't do that as children can read books or watch TV, movies by themselves. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is irrefutable that
children
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 are the future of every nation, and they should be taught good values and morals. Some groups of people propound that public-related storytelling by the guardians is much more worthy;
however
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, a few opponents state that the enormous amount of online sources could effectively replace storytelling. My supporting viewpoint about the laid notion with both views will be discussed in the ensuing paragraphs. On the one hand, emotional stories can equip
children
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 with essential life skills and the morals of society, which, in turn, can help the country get a better and brighter generation in the future.
Moreover
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, interacting with parents would lead to the proper communication techniques, acceptable
behaviors
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behaviours
show examples
, cooperation, and collaboration. Eventually, it would not only strengthen the emotional bond between parents and child but
also
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 pave the way to success in the academic curriculum.
For instance
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, one study conducted in India showed that
children
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 who tend to listen to storytelling from their caretakers are likely to interact with their peer group than those who do not.
On the other hand
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, in the state-of-the-art, books and TV shows are becoming increasingly popular. Many of the books and TV shows are fascinating for
children
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, as they contain attractive characters, and a way of representation. Undoubtedly,
children
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 prefer to watch or listen to stories from television as it includes thriller content, various characters, powerful imaginations, interesting information, and indispensable life skills.
Additionally
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, the teenagers can learn some essential life lessons from TV programs.
For example
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, one cartoon show, namely 'Chhota Bheem', telecasted to aim at
children
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 for promoting good values, learning socially accepted
behaviors
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behaviours
show examples
, and moral lessons. To encapsulate,
although
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 books and other various sources of entertainment for youngsters are potentially thrilling and useful, in my opinion, stories that are told by parents hold greater value, a sense of belief,
mold
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mould
show examples
 an appropriate personality, promote success in the upcoming days, and enable them to be better individuals in society.

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planning
Plan your essay before you write. Start with your view in the first paragraph.
structure
Keep to one main idea in each paragraph and use clear links from sentence to sentence.
style
Use short, plain words. Cut long phrases and avoid hard words.
content
Give strong and clear examples that fit the point you make.
content
The essay shows both sides of the issue.
analysis
There is a clear view at the end.
evidence
Examples are used to back ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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