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Band 7

Some people believe that a lot of research is a waste of time and money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #research #waste #time #money
Nowadays, there is an argument that the
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
show examples
 do not need to spend
money
 on scientific
research
 because it is a waste of
money
. From
this
 author’s perspective, it would be a foolish statement
due to
 the characteristics of unpredictable diseases in the future or expecting enhancements of medication.
Firstly
, there is an undeniable point that
people
 may have enough facilities and services in society resulting in unessential improvement in any field. To explain, with the advancements in essential needs like medication or food from the past to the present, they would tend to accept their situation because of the adequate efficiency, and spend
money
 on entertaining themselves
instead
 of improving the scientific side.
For example
, the plague was a disastrous disease in the 18th century but with the development of medicine, it is just a simple problem in
trhe
Correct your spelling
the
 21st century, resulting in the thinking of meaningless investment of
people
 in scientific
research
.
However
, with some unpredictable disasters
such
 as COVID-19, the former statement may be hilarious owing to the consequence of over 15 million deaths around the world caused by the lack of advancements in medication from governments.
Thus
, there are no good/convincing reasons for the criticism of spending
money
 on scientific
research
. Another reason for the author’s disagreement is the obvious benefits
people
 can have when scientific
research
 is completed,
such
 as effective methods of surgeons for incurable diseases. When the government invests more
money
 in
research
, they would have a lot of creative ideas to improve the efficiency of the operation which helps increase the rate of living for patients around the world. Regarding replacing organs as an example. In the period 2000 to 2010, humans could not replace some vital organs
such
 as the brain or the heart but in recent years, surgeons can do it because of the development in facilities and equipment.
Hence
, investment in scientific
research
 could be an effective way to improve the quality of human lives. In conclusion,
people
 may think spending
money
 on scientific
research
 can be meaningless work with the adequate of various fields but it can not be true for some unpredictable diseases in the future. So, the improvement of science is an essential need for humans. IÊ

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Expression clarity
Strive for clarity in expressing your point of view. Avoid complex sentences that may obscure your argument.
Grammar & Spelling
Review your essay for typographical and grammatical errors to enhance overall readability, such as 'trhe' which should be 'the'. These minor errors can detract from the professionalism of your writing.
Supporting argument strength
In supporting your arguments, ensure your examples are both specific and directly linked to your main point. This will strengthen your argument's persuasiveness.
Argument Refutation
When presenting an opposing viewpoint, make sure to provide a clear refutation. This enhances your essay's argumentative structure and showcases your critical thinking skills.
Structure
You provided a well-structured essay with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion that adequately addresses the prompt.
Use of Examples
You used relevant examples to support your arguments, effectively illustrating your claims, such as the plague and organ replacement advancements.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good level of coherence and cohesion, with paragraphs logically ordered and ideas cohesively connected.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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