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Writing Samples
Band 5

the proporion of puplis attending four secondary school types bwteen 2000 and 2009

The table illustrates the attendance rates of students across four types of secondary schools between 2000 and 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, the data reveal significant changes over the period, with one
school
Use synonyms
 experiencing a marked increase in enrolment,
while
Linking Words
 the others saw a gradual decline. The Community
School
Use synonyms
,
in particular
Linking Words
, witnessed a substantial rise, becoming the most attended
school
Use synonyms
 by 2009,
whereas
Linking Words
 the Specialist
School
Use synonyms
 exhibited minimal fluctuations throughout the decade. In 2000, the Voluntary-controlled schools had the highest enrolment rate at just over 50%.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 figure steadily decreased over the following years, reaching 20% by 2009.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the Grammar
School
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 saw its proportion of students nearly
halved
Wrong verb form
halve
show examples
, declining to approximately 12% by the end of the period.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the Community
School
Use synonyms
’s enrolment rate almost tripled, climbing from 12% in 2000 to nearly 60% in 2009, thereby overtaking all other schools in popularity. Meanwhile, the Specialist
School
Use synonyms
 remained relatively stable, with its student proportion decreasing only slightly from 12% to 10%, representing the smallest change among the four
school
Use synonyms
 types.

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overall
The essay well answers the task and uses data from the table. To aim higher than band 7, add more exact figures and compare them in one place in a clear way.
structure
Coherence and cohesion are good. You link ideas with words like 'In contrast' and 'Meanwhile.' Keep a steady order: start with a big view, then give the details, and finish with a short ending.
task
Clear overall trend shows the Community School rises a lot and becomes the most used by 2009.
coherence
Good use of linking words to show contrast and path of ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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