Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Technology becomes more advanced each day, and new use cases are being developed to track people’s activities and opinions. Often, a person does not even notice whether they are monitored through tracking or watched by CCTV or not. I firmly believe that

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increased use of technology and monitoring is a necessary measure to ensure safety and reduce the crime rate. First of all, criminal activities reach new all-time highs every year, and strict measures are needed to fight against

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ongoing trend. Actions like the increased use of security cameras or phone tracking are necessary to prevent or solve crimes or even hinder terrorist attacks. Increased monitoring of public places and people’s cell phones has already reduced the crime rate in Germany by 15 per cent.

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, tracking can be helpful to find a missing person.

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, extensive tracking leads to a loss of privacy, and people cannot be sure whether they are being watched or not. The data

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generated by comprehensive monitoring is often used by technology companies and sold to other enterprises to personalise advertisements. In general, tech firms want to profit from selling collected private data, as Facebook

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Google do.

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, personal information is often stored online by governments or private companies and is a popular target of cyberattacks that steal private data and either sell it or publish it online.

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, detailed information about a person becomes visible to the whole world, as the Visa card hack from

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year has shown. In conclusion, increased monitoring is essential to fight crime and ensure a more secure environment and future.

flobernleithner

Nov 17, 2025

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task focus

Be clear on what you think. Say your view in one line, then give two or three ideas to back it, and end with a short line.

evidence

Add real proof. Give a fact or example and say how it helps your view.

structure

Make each idea its own paragraph. Start it with a main sentence.

coherence

Use linking words to move smooth from one idea to the next.

accuracy

If you use a number, say where it came from or say it as a simple example.

task response

The view is clear from the first paragraph.

content

You show more than one side of the issue.

content

You give a real world idea, like CCTV and phone tracking.

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7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

1. Surveillance
2. Monitoring
3. Cell phone tracking
4. Security cameras
5. Public safety
6. Law enforcement
7. Privacy concerns
8. Personal freedom
9. Autonomous
10. Breach of trust
11. Misuse of information
12. Institutional integrity
13. Psychological impact
14. Mental well-being
15. Societal trust
16. Paranoia
17. Transparency
18. Stringent regulations
19. Criminal deterrence
20. Apprehension of criminals

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