IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

In recent years, experimenting on animals has become more debatable. Some believe that the entire animal trial is unacceptable and should be banned.
However
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, others believe these trials are crucial for scientific discoveries. I would agree with the latter thought and discuss my reasons below.
Also
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, suggesting what other options could be used rather. Animal trials are a necessary step prior to the administration of drugs in humans.
This
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 is because the scientists want to rule out any teratogenic or embryotoxicity being caused by the drugs.
Furthermore
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, as they have similar morphology and body structure to humans, fauna makes it possible to assess the benefit-risk analysis of products. They can assess the safety of the goods that are never administered to humans.
Thus
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 ensuring people's safety.
For example
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, prior to the Geneva Act of 1950, the drug thalidomide was administered to pregnant women without any clinical overview and only based on a non-clinical overview which seemed safe. 40% of these pregnant women gave birth to children with deformities of flipping hands and feet which was quite shocking. These deformities lead to tremendous morbidity among families.
However
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, if alternatives are needed, in-vitro options would be the best option.
This
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 is because non-clinical outcomes need to be more robust and various simulations to assess adverse events are required. They would need plants and
micro-organisms
Correct your spelling
microorganisms
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 to be utilised for understanding the pharmacology of the product. In conclusion, the fauna needs to be used for trials to ensure human safety. In the past, a lack of
this
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 was seen with thalidomide usage. Laos, for alternative options, non-clinical studies need to be more developed and advanced.

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Task Achievement
Make sure to develop your ideas more fully to support your arguments. Some points could benefit from further elaboration or explanation.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your arguments flow smoothly from one to another. Better linking phrases could enhance the coherence of your writing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Check for occasional grammatical errors and awkward phrases, as these can slightly impact the clarity of your writing.
Task Achievement
You provided a relevant example (thalidomide) that clearly illustrates the risks of not conducting animal trials, which strengthens your argument.
Task Achievement
You presented a balanced view by acknowledging the opposition to animal testing and suggesting alternatives, which enhances the essay's depth.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific breakthroughs
  • ethical concerns
  • alternatives
  • animal testing
  • moral implications
  • ethical considerations
  • vivisection
  • research methods
  • ethical dilemmas
  • animal welfare
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