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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph bellow shows the number of tourisssts visitng a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017.

The graph bellow shows the number of tourisssts visitng a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017.
The line graph illustrates the
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 who came to see
Caribbean
Correct article usage
the Caribbean
show examples
 islands from 2010 to 2017.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is crystal clear that the
number
Use synonyms
 of total individuals visiting the
island
Use synonyms
 has increased
in
Change preposition
over
show examples
 a period of seven years. The total reached the peak in 2017 with exactly 3.5
million
Use synonyms
 people. The graph shows there are two different ways to visit
this
Linking Words
 particular
island
Use synonyms
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as staying on the
island
Use synonyms
 and staying on a cruise ship. Getting back to details,
In
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the beginning of
2010
Punctuation problem
2010,
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of staying
visitors
Use synonyms
 was approximately 0,25
million
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of daily
visitors
Use synonyms
 was nearly 0,75
million
Use synonyms
. The next two years
numbers
Check wording
apply
show examples
were
all-time
Correct article usage
an all-time
show examples
 low
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 in
2012
Punctuation problem
2012,
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
staying
Correct word order
visitors staying
show examples
 on
Use synonyms
island
Correct article usage
the island
show examples
Use synonyms
visitors
Correct word order
apply
show examples
passed 1
million
Use synonyms
 and in 2012 it reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1.5
million
Use synonyms
. The
number
Use synonyms
 has remained the same for the following 3 years.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
visitors
Use synonyms
 staying on cruise ships started to go up during 2013 and shows a stable improvement by the end of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
2017.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, number, island, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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