Governments should spend more money on railways rather than roads. Agree or disagree?
It
is argues
that governments should invest more finances in railways than roads. Change the verb form
is argued
This
essay agrees that the railway system should be allocated a larger budget. Firstly
, using means of public transport is not only cheaper but also
more reliable; secondly
, it is more environmentally-friendly
to take a train.
Frequently accessing railways is less expensive and more stable than using cars. People tend to save money on petrol and car maintenance by only buying a ticket for a train. Correct your spelling
environmentally friendly
Hence forth
, through substituting vehicles with trains, there are Correct your spelling
Henceforth
less
opportunities for cars to break down requiring less money to be spent on fixing the problems. Change the quantifier
fewer
Furthermore
, the railway system runs on a strict schedule which prevents delays that can occur on the road like traffic jams. New York is a prime example of this
, in which individuals opt for utilising subways as it is a cheaper altenative
and Correct your spelling
alternative
allows
for more punctuality.
Public transport has greatly reduced the amount of pollution cities experience. Railroads have a larger capacity allowing a large quantity of people to travel in the same direction at the same time, lowering the amount of pollution emitted . Correct subject-verb agreement
allow
However
, with automobiles, there is a limit of five passengers causing a greater amount of cars to be on the road leading to the expulsion of more carbon emissions. For instance
, the environmental benefit of railroads over roads has caused more experts to advocate for the usage of such
systems.
In conclusion, trains should be given priority over roads because it
Correct pronoun usage
they
costs
less money and Correct subject-verb agreement
cost
is
more constant. Correct subject-verb agreement
are
Moreover
, it is a great way to help save the environment.Submitted by kellyanne.henney on
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Task Achievement
For task achievement, it is crucial to ensure that the response fully addresses all parts of the task. In this case, the essay does meet the requirements; however, it could benefit from a more detailed discussion and analysis to provide a deeper understanding of the position taken. Additionally, expanding on specific examples and backing them up with data or references could strengthen the argument and demonstrate a more complete task response.
Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, work on the logical progression of ideas. The essay currently has a reasonable structure, but transitions could be smoother, and the flow of ideas could be more seamless. Introduce clear topic sentences and use a wider range of linking words to better connect ideas. The conclusion is present and does a satisfactory job of summarizing the main points; however, it could be expanded to more effectively restate the essay's argument and thesis.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
