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Writing Samples
Band 6

Health experts say that obese women and women over the age of 40 should not be given free fertility treatment (IVF) because they are more likely to experience health problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

It is often argued that
women
Use synonyms
 who are overweight and over the
age
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 of forty should not be offered free
IVF
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 treatment because they face higher health risks. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 view, as these factors can endanger both the mother and the baby.
Firstly
Linking Words
, advancing
age
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 significantly reduces a woman’s physical capacity to handle pregnancy.
Women
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 begin to lose muscle strength as they grow older, and
this
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 makes the physical demands of pregnancy more difficult.
In addition
Linking Words
, fertility naturally declines after the
age
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 of 40, which increases the likelihood of complications
such
Linking Words
 as miscarriage.
For example
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, research by several medical institutions shows that miscarriage rates among
women
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 over forty are substantially higher than among younger
women
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
, obesity is associated with several medical conditions, including hormonal imbalances, PCOS and diabetes. These conditions can greatly complicate
IVF
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 treatment and increase the risk of pregnancy-related problems. Even if
IVF
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 is successful, pregnancy often leads to additional weight gain, which may worsen existing health issues and create
further
Linking Words
 risks during childbirth. In conclusion,
due to
Linking Words
 the serious health concerns linked with
age
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 and obesity, I believe that free
IVF
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 treatment should be limited for these groups in order to protect their well-being and prevent severe medical complications.

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structure
Add a short opposing view and then explain why your view is still right.
evidence
Add one or two clear facts or numbers to back up your point.
coherence
Check that each idea is clear and linked well to the next with simple linking words.
stance
Clear and direct view on the topic.
organization
Good use of sign words like First, Second, In conclusion.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • nuanced discussion
  • heightened health risks
  • public health and safety
  • discriminatory
  • individual health conditions
  • mitigate risks
  • mental health and well-being
  • deeply personal
  • equitable treatment
  • advancements in medical science
  • managed effectively
  • inclusive approach
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