Nowadays on-line shopping has become more popular than in-store shopping. Is it a positive or a negative development? Write an essay to discuss the effect of online shopping. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

In the current era, e-shopping has gained massive admiration compared to in-person shopping. It is mostly a positive development with some drawbacks. In the essay below, I will be explicating the results of online shopping. On the one hand, there are some reasons why home shopping is more
famous
Correct word choice
popular
show examples
than going in-store.
Firstly
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, it takes only a few simple steps to make a purchase.
For example
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, if you want to buy some clothes, you need to go to the website,
then
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you need to choose some products, and press the buy button, and you are done.
This
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saves a lot of time
as well as
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gas
while
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driving to the nearby store.
Secondly
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, you are able to browse a variety of products in a single application, like clothes, books, appliances, etc.
Finally
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, when you hunt for a coupon code or a voucher, you will be able to get free shipping or grab deals for items you want to buy at a cheap price.
Therefore
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, online shopping is good for people.
On the other hand
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, there are several aspects why e-shopping detrimental to the common public. To start with, when you buy stuff from a website, you are unable to check the texture of the product, which sometimes is not to your liking when the product arrives.
Besides
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, you might be scammed by receiving fake or defective goods.
Thus
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, in
this
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way, online shopping is bad for the end user,
Overall
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, there are both benefits and drawbacks to ordering stuff from e-commerce websites.
According to
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the explanations provided in the above essay, it seems to me that the first opinion is more concerning than the second one.

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improvement
The essay has a clear view but there are odd word use and small grammar errors. Make sentences short and clear.
structure
Use a simple plan: intro, two body blocks, final line. Do not add big words or talk about the task in the essay.
response
The writer states that online shopping is mostly good with some limits.
content
Examples show how buying online saves time and gives many items.
coherence
There is a helper use of when and to connect ideas.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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