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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

What qualities do you think are most important for achieving success in life? Give at least three reasons to support your answer.

Achieving success is usually a term
for
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apply
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which each individual
person
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 has their own meaning and explanation. Sometimes it is becoming financially stable, having a loving family
or
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, or
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 simply being happy.
This
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 essay will look
in to
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into
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 the qualities which are most important for achieving success in
life
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 financially and socially.
Firstly
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, most successful people were not handed
the
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opportunities in
life
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 on a silver plate. Waiting for opportunities to come to you is not the right way to go if you want to achieve a goal
,
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;
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that is
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 why you should be courageous.
For example
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: you have a
job
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 you don’t like
and
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, and
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 each day in your workplace is a misery for you. You do not want to continue working there, but you do not have the courage
and
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or
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 enough will to tell your manager that you want to quit.
That is
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 why you will probably continue working there for the rest of your
life
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.
Instead
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, you could overcome the difficulties of talking to your manager and looking for a new,
better suiting
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better-suited
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job
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. Having enough courage to look for something new
instead
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 of being scared of
changement
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change
 is a quality of a successful
person
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.
Secondly
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, being confident plays a very big role in achieving things. Having enough confidence to talk to new people, make important connections and make yourself seen in the room you are in.
For instance
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, if you are attending an event, standing in a corner will not do you any good. Go up to people, talk, make connections
,
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;
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 it might be useful in the future.
Besides
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, knowing your worth and feeling good about your decisions helps to stay positive. The third important quality is being independent and single-minded.
For example
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, if you were to rely on your parents’ income forever, you would not be able to make your own decisions in
life
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. It is so much more
benefitial
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beneficial
 to get your own
job
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 and have your own income
which
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, which
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 you can invest and grow. Single-mindedness is a quality which
i
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I
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 really want to mention
aswell
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as well
. Being single-minded and determined does a great
job
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 in achieving your goals, making your dreams
in
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to reality. In conclusion, there
is
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are
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 a great number of qualities a successful
person
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 should have. Each
person
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 has a different story, a different opinion and their road to success was challenging in their own way. But in my opinion, the most important qualities are having courage, confidence, being independent and single-minded.

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structure
The answer is clear and shows three main ideas. It has an intro and a conclusion which match the task. This helps, but tie each idea more directly to your main claim.
language
Use only simple words. Keep phrases short and easy to read. Do not use long, complex sentences.
language
Fix small grammar and spelling errors such as changement, benefitial, i. These can make your points hard to follow.
content
Explain each point with a short, clear example and show how it helps to reach success.
structure
Use topic sentences at the start of each paragraph to set the idea and then add a short example.
coherence
Link ideas with a simple flow: first point, then connect to the next with a word like also, and.
content
Three clear ideas are used: courage, confidence, and independence.
content
There are examples given for each idea that fit the point.
structure
You finish with a short conclusion that restates your view.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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