IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

“Why people spend money on trying to look younger state advantages and disadvantages of people trying to look younger”

Nowadays, with
expansion
Correct article usage
the expansion
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 in
technology
Add a comma
technology,
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 our lives have improved in many areas
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
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 in the beauty industry. Every day
Punctuation problem
,
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there are numerous aesthetic clinics with the latest
equipments
Correct your spelling
equipment
 which
offering
Wrong verb form
offer
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 proposals for everyone who wants to look younger.
This
Linking Words
 essay will outline both the advantages and disadvantages of spending money on the
beaty
Correct your spelling
beauty
 market. One of the advantages
looking
Change preposition
of looking
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 younger than your age is that it can especially improve your
self confident
Use the right word
self-confidence
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. If people
looks
Correct subject-verb agreement
look
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 very beautiful
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
, For
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For
Fix capitalization
for
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 instance:
If
Fix capitalization
if
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 they have
the
Correct article usage
apply
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healthy
hairs
Fix the agreement mistake
hair
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healthy
Punctuation problem
, healthy
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surface
Check wording
apply
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skin and etc reasons it makes them happier and motivated
and
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, and
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 they feel
yourself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
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 appropriate to the nowadays tendency of social media
On the other hand
Linking Words
, one disadvantage is that sometimes people
being
Verb problem
become
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 addicted
of
Change preposition
to
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 being more
beatiuful
Correct your spelling
beautiful
 and exaggerate their procedures . There could be
the
Correct article usage
apply
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serious issues with health in some plastic
surgery
Fix the agreement mistake
surgeries
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 facts
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
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 it there
a
Verb problem
are a
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little the 2-3 people
Correct pronoun usage
who dies
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dies
Correct subject-verb agreement
die
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 from
these
Fix the agreement mistake
this
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 kind of surgery.
Theone
Use the right word
The one
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 and foremost huge problem is the
psychologically
Replace the word
psychological
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 impact of
beig
Correct your spelling
being
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
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better due
the
Change preposition
to the
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 reason
for
Change preposition
apply
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that they
don
Correct your spelling
don't
 love
yourself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
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. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 spending money to look younger can boost confidence and social opportunities, it
also
Linking Words
 has significant financial and health drawbacks.

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language
Fix many grammar problems. Check word form and spelling, e.g. 'look younger', 'healthy hair', 'equipment'. Use simple form.
structure
Use clear topic sentences in each paragraph. Start with a new idea and end with a small finish.
content
Be careful with facts. If you give numbers, be exact or say 'some studies show'.
conclusion
End with a clear view. Say your own mind on the topic in the last line if asked.
task response
The essay tries to cover both sides of the topic.
coherence
There is a simple shape of intro, body and end.
coherence
There are linking words to join ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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