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Writing Samples
Band 8

Cultures around the world are becoming more similar that ever before. Why is this happening? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#cultures #world #development
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Across the globe, cultures are becoming more similar than ever before. In my view, globalization has largely driven
this
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 trend, aligning people’s lifestyles worldwide.
However
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,
while
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this
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 fosters global unity, it
also
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 threatens the preservation of unique cultural identities. One significant cause of
this
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 cultural convergence is the dominance of the
English
Use synonyms
 language
due to
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 globalization.
English
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 has become the global lingua franca, facilitating communication in international business, media, and education.
This
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 trend is evident in younger generations, who increasingly use
English
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 in their daily lives, influenced by global entertainment and education systems.
For instance
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, my younger siblings attend an
English
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-speaking kindergarten, and
as a result
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, they are more fluent in
English
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 than in their native language.
While
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 proficiency in
English
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 undoubtedly enhances their educational prospects and access to global knowledge, it
also
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 diminishes their connection to their cultural heritage.
Furthermore
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, rapid technological advancement has standardized lifestyles across cultures. Technological devices and innovations, from smartphones to modern transportation, have replaced traditional tools and practices in many countries. In my home country,
for example
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, people once relied on horses for transportation, a practice deeply rooted in our nomadic culture. Today, automatic cars are the norm, mirroring trends seen globally.
Although
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 technology has improved convenience and efficiency, it has
also
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 contributed to the erosion of traditional ways of life, making cultures more alike at the expense of their uniqueness. In conclusion,
while
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 the growing cultural similarities worldwide can be seen as a natural result of globalization and technological progress, I believe
this
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 development carries significant risks. The loss of cultural identity is a serious consequence, and efforts should be made to preserve traditions
while
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 embracing modern advancements.
Submitted by baigalnarantuya1 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, ensure your conclusion ties back more explicitly to your main arguments.
task achievement
Your main points are well-supported, but consider adding more diverse examples to strengthen your argument further.
coherence cohesion
Your logical structure is excellent, making it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.
task achievement
You provided clear and comprehensive ideas, and the examples used were relevant and supported your points well.
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