IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some think secondary and high school students should be allowed to choose academic courses leading to university or practical courses leading to careers such as carpenters. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, people think that students should be allowed to determine their
future
Use synonyms
 to come to university or pursue careers. I strongly agree that
this
Linking Words
 program can be beneficial, and
this
Linking Words
 essay will explain why. First of all, choosing a student’s path earlier can make them focus on their passion.
For instance
Linking Words
, mostly high school student do not know or think about their
future
Use synonyms
, causing them not to try to develop their skills, whether in an academic or non-academic way. By focusing their passion, they found their goals, rethinking their
future
Use synonyms
 path, and slowly preparing for it.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 enhances their ambition. In short, they do not waste time doing something they do not really want.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the high scholar will be prepared for advanced learning. Hereby, they strengthen their basic knowledge or skills step by step, meticulously fulfilling their insight or practising the skills over time. As a real example, one of the famous singers in the world, Taylor Swift, started her career when she was 16 years old. With daily practice and support from her parents, she has become the number one artist now.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the famous scientist, Albert Einstein, who focused his life on researching, observing, and calculating, invented a relativity formula that earned him a Nobel Prize because of his contribution. These facts support that choosing a way earlier is notable, because it can affect people's
future
Use synonyms
 and what they will do to reach it. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 others continue to argue about
this
Linking Words
 statement, I firmly believe that choosing a path can make students focus on their life, and even become an expert in their passion.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Fix grammar and word form. Use 'high school students', 'most students', and simple verbs. Check plural and tense in many places.
coherence
Link ideas clearly. Use simple connect words like 'First', 'also', 'but', and 'for example' to move from one idea to the next.
content
Give one clear main point in each paragraph and explain it with at least one reason or simple example.
fact check
Be careful with facts in examples. If you use a real person, stick to true facts or use a general example.
structure
End with a strong, simple conclusion that repeats your view and ties to the body.
strength
Clear view is stated early.
strength
Examples are used to back points.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: