IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Saving money is considered to be an essential skill and habit for
people
Use synonyms
, including young adults, to have a promising future. I strongly agree with
this
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 opinion and will demonstrate the reasons
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
below.
Firstly
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, saving money as part of the personal financial plan is
cruicial
Correct your spelling
crucial
 to get prepared for any future risk. Many young adults might face the dilemma of being unemployed
while
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 not receiving any stable income.
Therefore
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, having
saving
Fix the agreement mistake
savings
show examples
 adds a buffer to their personal finance,
while
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 it
also
Linking Words
 assists in coping with the stress and anxiety during the crisis period.
Moreover
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, a sufficient
saving
Fix the agreement mistake
savings
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 account is helpful if any accident occurs,
such
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 as unexpected sickness or an urgent surgery. The medical bills are expensive in some countries, and they can lead to painful debt for
people
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
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, an adequate
saving
Fix the agreement mistake
savings
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 amount enables
people
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 to try various things in their lives without concerns, and eventually
achieving
Wrong verb form
achieve
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 their dreams and goals. No matter
it
Correct word choice
whether it
show examples
 is higher education, relocation or developing a new hobby, the lack of financial support will
disable
Verb problem
prevent
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 the person
to make
Change preposition
from making
show examples
 the choice he or she truly desires.
For instance
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, many ambitious young adults wish to conduct their own business, and owning enough
saving
Fix the agreement mistake
savings
show examples
 provides them confidence so that they do not need to worry about
bank
Correct article usage
a bank
show examples
 loan or borrowing money from others.
To conclude
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, saving is a great method to gain better preparation for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future risks.
In addition
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, it can
also
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 help
people
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 to have better chances to experiment
things
Change preposition
with things
show examples
 they wish to try.

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task response
You show a clear view and good plan. To raise your score, answer the topic with more direct points and kind examples. Check small grammar and use plain words. Use a simple plan: intro with your view, two main ideas with short examples, and a short end.
coherence cohesion
Make ideas fit together with easier links. Use linking words to show how ideas flow. Put each main idea in a new paragraph and keep each sentence short and easy.
task response strength
Your view on saving money is clear and strong.
coherence strength
The essay uses sign posts like Firstly, Secondly, To conclude.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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