Advertisements have harmful effects on the society. Do you agree or disagree? You should write 250 words.

Nowadays, we are bombarded with a torrent of advertisements wherever we go.
While
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some opine that advertising makes a significant contribution to leading society toward the wrong path, in my view, underestimating the importance of
such
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a strategy in the progress of corporations is not logical. On the one hand, some factories use tricky slogans.
In other words
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. Information is often misinformation, since many
prioritize
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prioritise
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making money over meaningful work.
As a result
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, they want to earn money without considering any moral issues.
For example
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, some businesses often exploit sexy women and well-known celebrities to sell their products among the new generation, which may result in overconsumption among them.
On the other hand
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, raising public awareness by becoming heard through mass media is a must for marketing. To clarify, Apple annually holds a convention, discussing different features of its products, which plays a crucial role in increasing customer awareness, so they can make intelligent choices.
Moreover
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, it can create a competitive environment in the modern era. It is worth mentioning that Benz and BMW it has been more than 20 years that they have been in a great competition with each other, resulting in the production of more reasonable vehicles for both.
This
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benefits not only clients but
also
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society as a whole. In conclusion,
although
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advertising encourages a culture of buying more than they need, I strongly believe advertising is too important to be ignored, especially in modern life
where
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, where
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people place a high value on media and things like
this
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.

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task response
Your position is clear and you give some examples. To raise the score, add more facts to back up your claim and explain how these ads affect society.
coherence
Link ideas with better flow. Use linking words and make sure each idea links to the main point. Break long lines into short ones.
grammar
Fix grammar and spelling. Watch punctuation, and make sentences full and clear.
content
Clear view on topic: you show your mind.
structure
You use 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to show sides.
examples
You use examples from real brands to show points.
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