IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

When asked to choose betwee a life without work and working most of time, people would always choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

When given the choice of whether to
work
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, some
people
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 claim that many
individuals
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 would prefer not to engage in
employment
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 at all.
While
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this
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 argument may seem understandable at
first,
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I disagree with the
idea
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. I believe that
work
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 is crucial for social progress, and most
people
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 recognise the importance of maintaining a balance rather than abandoning their careers completely. Supporters of a
work
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-free lifestyle argue that avoiding
employment
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 would allow
people
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 to enjoy a less stressful and more fulfilling life.
However
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,
this
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 assumption is not entirely accurate because
work
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 provides several benefits that many
individuals
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 do not want to lose.
Employment
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 offers routine, purpose, and a sense of achievement—elements that are essential for long-term emotional well-being. Without these,
people
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 often struggle with boredom, lack of motivation, and reduced self-esteem.
Therefore
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, the
idea
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 that most
individuals
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 would freely choose not to
work
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 does not reflect how deeply
work
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 is connected to personal fulfilment.
Moreover
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, the
idea
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 that large numbers of
people
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 would willingly abandon their jobs ignores the broader value that
employment
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 brings to society.
Work
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 supports essential services, drives economic growth, and enables communities to function smoothly. If most
individuals
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 suddenly chose not to
work
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, hospitals, schools, transport systems, and countless other sectors would struggle to operate.
Therefore
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,
people
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 understand how strongly society depends on a functioning workforce,
many
Correct word choice
and many
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 prefer to maintain their jobs. In conclusion,
while
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 the
idea
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 of a
work
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-free life may
initially
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 seem appealing, it does not fully reflect the realities of human needs or societal functioning.

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task
Add more details to the reason you give. Give one strong point with a small example each time.
coherence
Use more simple links to move from one idea to the next.
language
Check for short sentences. Use plain words so the message is clear.
content
Clear view that work is needed for life and for society
language
Good use of linking words like However and Therefore
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • financial stability
  • sense of achievement
  • personal satisfaction
  • structure and routine
  • mental challenges
  • social interactions
  • motivation
  • burnout
  • freedom
  • leisure
  • pursue hobbies
  • identity
  • purpose
  • balanced approach
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