The population of young people is more than old people in the countries .And it benefit us To what extent do you agree or disagree?

SOME
ARGUMENT
Fix the agreement mistake
ARGUMENTS
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THAT YOUNG
PEOPLE
Use synonyms
REPRESENT A LARGER NUMBER THAN THE AGEING POPULATION.
WHILE
Linking Words
THERE ARE SOME DEBATES ABOUT WHETHER THEY BENEFIT THE SOCIETY, I STRONGLY AGREE THAT THE YOUNGER DEMOGRAPHIC HAS MORE ADVANTAGES THAN DISADVANTAGES. MY INCLINATION IS TO ELABORATE IS ENSURING PARAGRAPHS AND RELEVANT EXAMPLES. THE FOREMOST ARGUMENT TO JUSTIFY MY POINT OF VIEW IS THAT YOUNG
PEOPLE
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PLAY AN ESSENTIAL ROLE IN THE COMMUNITY , AND THEY NEED TO BE WELL EDUCATED BY THE OLDER GENERATION TO HAVE
THE
Correct article usage
A
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HAND
ON CONTRIBUTE
Change preposition
IN CONTRIBUTING
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THE
Change preposition
TO THE
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ECONOMIC GROWTH. THE YOUNG ADULTS FORM THE MAJORITY OF THE WORKFORCE, WHICH HELPS TO IMPROVE PRODUCTIVITY AND PROVIDE MODERN AND INNOVATIVE SOLUTIONS FOR THE CHALLENGES FACED.
FOR INSTANCE
Linking Words
, NATIONS
SUCH
Linking Words
AS SAUDI ARABIA PRIORITISE A HUGE BUDGET TO SUPPORT YOUNG
PEOPLE
Use synonyms
FOR THE OUTCOME OF
ENHANCE
Wrong verb form
ENHANCING
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THE ECONOMY THROUGH EDUCATION AND
PROVIDE
Wrong verb form
PROVIDING
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THEM WITH APPROPRIATE WORK.
FURTHERMORE
Linking Words
, AS YOUNG
PEOPLE
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ARE MOST ADAPTABLE TO CHANGES AND TEND TO EMBRACE NEW IDEAS AND CAN LEARN FASTER AND USE TECHNOLOGY MORE EFFICIENTLY THAN THE OLDER GENERATION,
THIS
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WILL GIVE THEM THE ABILITY TO FACE ANY NEW CHALLENGES THEY FACE, WHETHER IT IS A GLOBAL ISSUE OR A LOCAL
.
Correct pronoun usage
ONE.
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FOR EXAMPLE
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, YOUNG WORKERS WERE ABLE TO WORK TOGETHER TO FACE THE COVID-19 VIRUS , AND ONE OF THE REASONS WERE YOUNGER, HEALTHIER AND MORE INNOVATIVE IN DEALING WITH
THIS
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SITUATION . ADMITTEDLY, AN AGEING POPULATION BRINGS WISDOM AND STABILITY, WHICH ARE VALUABLE FOR SOCIETY.
HOWEVER
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, WITHOUT SUFFICIENT YOUNG
PEOPLE
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TO SUPPORT HEALTHCARE SYSTEMS AND PENSIONS, THE ECONOMIC BURDEN BECOMES UNSUSTAINABLE.
THEREFORE
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, THE BENEFITS OF A YOUTHFUL POPULATION ARE MORE SUBSTANTIAL .

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structure
Make your view clear at the start and keep it steady through the essay.
coherence
Add linking words and better flow between sentences to connect ideas.
grammar
Check grammar and aim for short, simple sentences to avoid mistakes.
examples
Give more precise examples and explain how they show your point.
vocabulary
Use easy words and keep sentences short to show strong control of basic English.
content
You state a clear view and keep it through the text.
example
You use examples such as COVID-19 and Saudi Arabia.
argument
You try to explain how youth can help the economy and solve problems.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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