IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Teachers should not make their social or political views known to students in the classroom. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Teachers are
also
Linking Words
 known as nation builders, as they play incredible roles in developing the attitudes of the future generation. They must educate children impartially , regardless of their political and social affiliations. I believe that enforcing personal ideology based on their liking and disliking
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 into the innocent minds of youngsters is not justifiable.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are a few positives to let students know about their teachers’ political and social views. Schoolteachers are role models for their pupils; they try to follow them in almost every aspect of life.
For example
Linking Words
, if a teacher conveys his opinion to improve the social and political system of a country, some students of his class might reach administrative posts who could reform the whole system.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a faculty member can influence children to make a positive approach regarding social and political issues
instead
Linking Words
 of getting wrong information from uncertified media. To
further
Linking Words
 illustrate, the reality-based viewpoint of educators can prevent them from falling into the hands of malicious people.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, there are enormous drawbacks to
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon. First and foremost, it is against students' basic human rights in order to decide independently about their favourite political party.
Secondly
Linking Words
, some political parties can hire lecturers who promote their political agendas that would have devastating consequences for the whole society.
For instance
Linking Words
, a political or social organisation puts some tutors on their payroll to defame and create rhetoric against its opponents, which would lead to a catastrophe for human civilisation. In conclusion, I think that even though teachers can play their part to improve the social and political system, biased educators can cause huge turmoil in the whole community. To be on the safer side, tutors must remain neutral and impartial in classrooms, whatever their viewpoints .

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make your main answer clear in the first part and keep it steady. Do not mix ideas about letting students know about views.
coherence
Fix how you link ideas. Start each paragraph with a clear idea and add a simple link to the old idea.
task response
Give stronger, real examples to back your point and explain how each helps your view.
grammar
Use shorter, simple sentences. Check each sentence for proper grammar and punctuation.
language
Use common words. Avoid big words that are hard to read.
understanding of task
The writer shows a clear stand against sharing teachers' views.
balance
The writer adds a look at both sides and a contrast.
content strength
There are good points and some examples to back the view.
Topic Vocabulary:
    What to do next:
    Look at other essays: