IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people say that the gap between the rich and the poor is becoming wider, as the rich become richer and the poor become poorer. What problems could this situation cause, and what measures can be taken to address those problems?

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Since the beginning of the 21st century, the difference between
upper
Correct article usage
the upper
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 and lower classes
is
Wrong verb form
has been
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 increasing
due to
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 more opportunities for the
richer
Replace the word
rich
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.
This
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 essay intends to analyze the problems
this
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 causes
along with
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 possible solutions to mitigate them. To commence with the issue of
this
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 trend, the first and foremost one is an increase in the crime rate. To explain
this
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, when the gap between both classes rises, it will lead to fewer growth options for the lower ones. Even they have to struggle
for meeting
Change preposition
to meet
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 their basic needs.
Due to
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this
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, they indulge in illegal activities.
For example
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, a survey conducted by the Central Bureau of Investigation (CBI) in 2019 revealed that 40% of crime cases in India were filed because of the difference between the financial status of people. To mitigate
this
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, the government should provide some funds and basic skill training programs for poor people so that they can generate their own income sources.
Furthermore
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, another problem caused by
such
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 a gap is the lack of equal opportunities.
In other words
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, different financial status becomes the main hurdle for poor ones to access better education and healthcare, which ultimately creates anger among them because they feel ignored in society. All
this
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 bad situation makes the economic growth worse. To tackle
this
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, higher authorities should take relevant measures to provide education and health facilities at a cheaper cost so that everyone can afford them. In conclusion, the widening gap between the rich and poor generations has dire consequences,
such
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 as an acceleration in the crime rate and partial access to opportunities.
Nevertheless
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, these issues can be solved if the government provides financial assistance to the poor and affordable education for them.

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task achievement
Ensure more thorough elaboration on the main points to offer a more comprehensive understanding of the issues and solutions.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more cohesive devices to link your ideas more fluidly, which will improve the overall coherence of the essay.
structure
Clear introduction and conclusion present, effectively framing the discussion.
support
Relevant examples provided to support main points, adding credibility to the arguments made.
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