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Writing Samples
Band 6

What are the advantages and disadvantages of using computers in education system?

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The use of
computers
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 in the educational
system
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 has changed the way
students
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 learn and interact with each other. It has reached faster access to knowledge and
also
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 excellent collaboration between
students
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 and teachers.
However
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, there are both advantages and disadvantages of using
computers
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 in the educational
system
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. One of the most beneficial advantages of using
computers
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 in the educational
system
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 is the increased quality of success. With the help of the internet, they can easily access a wealth of information. So,
this
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 makes the process of learning and researching much easier and faster.
Moreover
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,
computers
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also
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 enable increased collaboration between
students
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 and teachers by discussing online lessons.
Thus
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,
this
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 allows
students
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 to interact with their classmates and teachers, and to give their opinions and ideas in a safe place.
On the other hand
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, the disadvantages of using
computers
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 in the educational
system
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 are reduced interactions and potential dangers. The use of
computers
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 in the educational
system
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 may result in
students
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 being distracted from their studies.
Also
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, the internet provides access to a wide range of games and
students
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 may be attracted to spend more time on these activities than on their studies.
Furthermore
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, it has a potential danger
that is
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 very common nowadays is the risk of keeping personal information on the internet, because it can be stolen. In conclusion, I think
computers
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 can be a great benefit to the educational
system
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such
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 as getting new information. But, it is important to be aware of the potential drawbacks.

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task achievement
Expand on the main points with more relevant examples and specific details. This will provide a more thorough exploration of the advantages and disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea to improve clarity and coherence. Avoid mixing multiple ideas in one paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Watch out for repetitive phrasing. Try to vary your vocabulary and sentence structures to make your writing more engaging.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
You have addressed both advantages and disadvantages, offering a balanced perspective on the topic.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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