IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries, the number of people suffering from stress is increasing. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to tackle it?

Nowadays, human beings face many liabilities and irritations;
as a result
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, the number of people experiencing high
stress
Use synonyms
 levels is growing. In my view,
due to
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 the huge popularity of social networks, people receive incredibly high volumes of information per day;
thus
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, humans' brains may mostly be in an overloaded state.
Additionally
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, in the modern world, the prices of accommodation, vehicles, and other important goods are considerably high; meanwhile, individuals' demand for these facilities is not decreasing with time.
This
Linking Words
 competitive atmosphere in society may put significant pressure on one's mental health.
However
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,
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
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 gym training or yoga sessions and becoming less self-demanding might help to decrease the average
stress
Use synonyms
 level.
Firstly
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, the influence of highly frequent mobile phone usage is rather destructive for one's mental system. Constantly checking the news and always trying to be available for all the contacts from the contact book simply makes it challenging to allocate time for activities that increase
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mental balance,
such
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 as the gym or yoga.
For example
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, it is scientifically proven that after completing one gym session, the level of cortisol, the main
stress
Use synonyms
 hormone, decreases massively.
Secondly
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, the competitive corporate environment in a modern society makes it difficult to lie back and relax, which is sometimes essential for keeping the brain clear and fresh.
This
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 infinite race for a higher salary or a promotion to a more valuable position in a company often results in
stress
Use synonyms
 and burnout.
For instance
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, in Japan,
due to
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this
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 culture of constant hard work, the number of suicides for some period of time was the highest in the Asian region. Summing up, smartphone addiction and overworking are crucial problems of average individuals across many countries that cause unhealthy
stress
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
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, there are ways of eliminating these issues by adding more sports to a daily routine and,
in addition
Linking Words
, trying to put less self-pressure on yourself, formed by intending to achieve the best career results.

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structure
Plan your essay with a clear start, then 2 or 3 ideas, and a short end.
content
Put each main idea in its own paragraph and add a simple example for each.
grammar
Use plain words and short sentences. Avoid long, hard phrases.
cohesion
Use linking words like and, but, also, because to join ideas.
content
Check facts and avoid big claims without proof.
content
The essay shows a clear aim to explain causes and a way to fix stress.
content
One real life example (Japan) is given to back a point.
content
The idea that exercise can lower stress is given.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Work-life balance
  • Burnout
  • Digital detox
  • Mindfulness
  • Coping mechanisms
  • Cognitive-behavioral therapy
  • Financial stability
  • Public awareness campaigns
  • Resilience training
  • Support networks
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