Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished the same way as adults.

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The issue of whether young

people

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who commit serious

crimes

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should be punished the same

way

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adults

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has sparked considerable debate.

While

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some argue that the severity of the crime should determine the punishment, regardless of age, others believe that young offenders should be treated differently.

This

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essay will argue that

while

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serious

crimes

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should be met with consequences, young

people

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should not be punished in the same

way

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adults

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due to

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their developmental stage . Young

people

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are still growing and developing, both mentally and emotionally. Their brains are not fully developed, especially in areas that help them make good decisions and control their actions. Because of

this

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, young offenders may not fully understand the consequences of their actions. Punishing them the same

way

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adults

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ignores these differences.

Instead

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, they should be given a punishment that considers their age and allows for their growth,

such

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counseling

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counselling

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or education. Young

people

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have a higher chance of changing their

behavior

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behaviour

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and becoming better members of society. The goal of the justice system should not only be punishment but

also

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giving young

people

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the chance to change. Many young offenders commit

crimes

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due to

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difficult circumstances, like family problems or peer pressure. If we focus on rehabilitating them, rather than punishing them harshly, they may learn from their mistakes and become productive members of society in the future. In conclusion,

while

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serious

crimes

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should have consequences, young

people

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should not be punished in the same

way

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adults

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. Because they are still developing, have a better chance of rehabilitation, and may face harm in adult prisons, they deserve a different approach.

makemoneyizzy16Tue Mar 18 2025

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relevant specific examples

Consider providing specific examples or cases to illustrate your points more effectively, especially regarding the reasons young people commit crimes and potential rehabilitation outcomes.

logical structure

Ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear focus, and clearly link your points back to the main argument to enhance the logical flow between ideas.

introduction conclusion present

You could strengthen your introduction by briefly outlining the main arguments you will discuss in the essay.

clear comprehensive ideas

Your essay presents a clear argument and maintains a consistent stance throughout, which is commendable.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

273 words

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Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished the same way as adults.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Many people think cheaper air travel should be encouraged because it gives ordinary people to travel further. However, others think this leads to environmental problems, so air travel should be more expansive in order to discourage people to have it.

Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, the crime rate is increasing, especially among teenagers. What are the reasons behind it? How can we resolve this trend? What punishment method should be used, in your opinion?