IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

TOPIC 2: Because of religious beliefs, some people reject to serving people, while the others believe that no one has rights to reject serving someone. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In many societies, conflicts arise when
individuals
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 refuse to provide
services
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due to
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 their religious beliefs.
While
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 some argue that
people
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 should be allowed to reject serving
others
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 on moral or religious grounds,
others
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 believe that everyone has an obligation to treat all members of society equally.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my own view. On the one hand, supporters of religious freedom maintain that
individuals
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 should not be forced to act against their beliefs. They argue that in a democratic society,
people
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 must have the right to practise their religion without coercion.
For instance
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, some religious groups may oppose participating in certain activities or providing
services
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 that contradict their values. From
this
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 viewpoint, compelling someone to serve
others
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 in
such
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 circumstances would be a violation of personal conscience and human rights. In their eyes, protecting religious expression is essential to maintaining cultural diversity and respecting individual autonomy.
On the other hand
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, many
people
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 contend that refusing service based on personal beliefs can lead to discrimination and social inequality. They argue that once
individuals
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 or businesses offer
services
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 to the public, they have a responsibility to treat all customers fairly, regardless of their background, identity, or lifestyle. Allowing
people
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 to reject serving
others
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 on religious grounds could set a dangerous precedent, potentially justifying the exclusion of minority groups.
Furthermore
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, critics claim that
such
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 refusals undermine social cohesion and contradict modern legal principles, which emphasise equality and non-discrimination in public life. In my opinion,
although
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 religious freedom should be respected, it must not override fundamental rights to equal treatment. When a person voluntarily chooses to operate in the public sphere, they should provide
services
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 without prejudice. Exceptions based on religion should be limited to cases where alternative service providers are available and where no harm or discrimination is caused. In conclusion,
while
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 some believe that
individuals
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 should be able to refuse service because of their religious convictions,
others
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 argue that
such
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 behaviour promotes inequality. I believe that equal access to
services
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 should take priority, as it is essential for maintaining fairness and social harmony.

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Task response
Have a clear plan. Say the two sides first, then give your view.
Task response
Add more real life and short examples for each main idea.
Coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to show how ideas fit and keep one main idea per sentence.
Task response
Use a calm tone and show why your view is right for you.
Task response
Clear view on the topic.
Coherence
Good use of On the One hand and On the Other hand to show two sides.
Structure
Strong ending that gives your view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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