Being a celebrity, such as a famous film star or sports personality, brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

#celebrity #film #star #sports #personality

Being a famous person,

such

as a movie star or sports athlete, has many disadvantages and advantages.

Although

famous people will earn more

money

, I believe that there are more drawbacks because famous people will not be safe in public places. The biggest advantage is that well-known

individuals

will earn loads of

money

This

is because they will get colossal amounts of

money

from their sponsors for promoting their products,

such

as mobile phones, laptops or cars.

As a result

, notable

individuals

will become affluent around the nation. Floyd Mayweather,

for instance

, is a famous boxer

as well as

a wealthy person in the United States of America. Each year he gets around millions of dollars from Burger Kings and Rolls Royal sponsors for promoting their products during boxing matches.

However

, I believe that famous celebrities face huge problems whenever they go out because their frenzied fans will annoy them. The major drawback is that famous

individuals

’ lives will be in danger in common places.

This

is because their foes will try to harm them whenever they go out either alone or with their family members,

such

as in parks or malls.

As a result

, they will have to hire some security guards to protect themselves against vicious-minded

individuals

. Jennifer Lopez,

for instance

, always goes out with five bodyguards. The reason is that in the past, some deranged fans attacked her in

New

Correct article usage

a New

show examples

York park and broke her left arm.

Therefore

, I believe that celebrities always face difficulties in common places because someone will assault them. In conclusion,

although

well-known

individuals

earn big amounts of

money

from sponsors, notable people’s lives will be in danger because evil-minded people will harm them. For these reasons, I believe that drawbacks are more than benefits.

Submitted by dhillonroop544 on Wed Dec 06 2023

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coherence cohesion

You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, but your main points could be more fully developed and supported with a broader range of examples.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that this is expanded upon. Aim to provide more varied examples, not only focused on high-profile celebrities but potentially considering different types of famous individuals.

task achievement

You have presented a reasonable argument with examples, but these could be strengthened. Expand on your ideas and provide more detailed examples to fully address the question and ensure a more complete response.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

292 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Public scrutiny
Intrusive
Endorsements
Sponsorships
Financial security
High-profile collaborations
Social influence
Philanthropic efforts
Trust issues
Mental health challenges
Substance abuse
Pressures of celebrity
Expectations
Disconnect from reality
Normalcy

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Being a celebrity, such as a famous film star or sports personality, brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Task 2: What can be done to maintain biodiversity?

Write a letter to the hotel, making the arrangements. In your letter •tell them when you will be arriving and leaving •explain what type of rooms you would like, and ask how much the weekend will cost •ask about activities and places of interest near the hotel

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people believe that schoolchildren should do their class work individually. Other people believe that sometimes class work should be done in small groups. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+