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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some cultures old age is more valued, while in other cultures youth is more valued. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the contemporary era, some people think that old age is more valuable than the youngest generation.
Although
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 the former is considered wiser and follows the traditions, I think that newcomers are more active in using technologies and have the ability to take over the world. On the one hand,the X generation has discovered world history through their sagacious decisions.
Firstly
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, there are many famous scientists who earned fame by working hard and repeating thousands of their ideas and experiments just to determine the cause of a disease and wasted their whole life without letting go concept.
Secondly
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,
such
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 persons are
also
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 precious to our country as they always put the traditions on top and mention them as the most crucial part to live a generous life.Indeed, history is rich with dedicated ones
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 they are the only way that many of us are still celebrating events and repeating the previous with moral ethics. On the flip side, techno students have more place in society's growth. Specifically, taking into account that we live in the modern era, fast-moving technology has changed the thinking criteria , which boosts the Gen Z and Alpha energy level.
Thus
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, the upsurge in these creative minds made the planet a better place to live with fun. Artificial Intelligence,
for instance
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, has a greater impact across industries like healthcare, textiles, paper ,and so on. In 2019, China Press pointed out that youth have discovered 70% of the planet in depth by using AI. I believe that juniors should add some positive aspects to improve in their current field by using the devices accurately. In conclusion, outdated societies have the best decision-making power
as well as
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 respect their moral principles , which is a helpful lesson for the updated culture. I bet that beginners are more likely to overcome by using their smart mind and intellectual level because they can make history perfect.

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planning
Plan the essay with a clear aim: say the view at the end of the intro and then keep this line in the middle and end in the end.
structure
Make each paragraph have one main idea and keep it short.
coherence
Use small links like and, but, also, for example to connect ideas.
examples
Use easy, real examples that fit the idea and are easy to see.
grammar
Check your grammar and use short, simple sentences.
content
Keep to the topic and give more proof for each idea to be strong.
content
The writer tries to talk about both sides and tell what they think.
content
There are some good ideas about age and use of tech.
structure
Some sentences show good range of ideas and a plan to show growth.
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