in some countries, young people have become richer, healthier and live longer, but they are less happy. What are the causes? What can be done to address the problem?

In developed countries, the young generation

tend

Correct subject-verb agreement

tends

show examples

to have

better

Correct article usage

a better

show examples

quality of life in

health

Use synonyms

, longevity and wealth, but they are not happy.

This

Linking Words

essay will point out the reasons and suggest feasible solutions.

To begin

Linking Words

, the improvement of healthcare and enhancing the awareness of investment and savings can lead younger people to live richer, healthier and longer. To illustrate, the British government provides fundamental and

comphensive

Correct your spelling

comprehensive

medical care to all qualified citizens who are able to receive appropriate treatments as soon as possible if they are diagnosed

Change preposition

with

show examples

severe illnesses

such

Linking Words

as cancer.

Therefore

Linking Words

, the lifespan can be extended because of healthier bodies and

all-rounded

Use the right word

all-around

show examples

medical systems.

In addition

Linking Words

, teenagers can learn financial knowledge from

soical

Correct your spelling

social

media.

Thus

Linking Words

, their investment and savings plans can start

Change preposition

at in

show examples

Use the right word

show examples

early age.

However

Linking Words

, the youth

lacks

Correct subject-verb agreement

lack

show examples

social life owing to being obsessed with online games.

For example

Linking Words

, numerous studies demonstrate that mankind

need

Correct subject-verb agreement

needs

show examples

mental

supports

Fix the agreement mistake

support

show examples

such

Linking Words

as encouragement, praise and recognition, from others.

As a result

Linking Words

, teenagers are not satisfied with their lives. To address the above problems

mentioned

Verb problem

apply

show examples

, the government should encourage

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

teen

Fix the agreement mistake

teens

show examples

participating

Verb problem

to participate

show examples

in volunteer activities and

reducing

Wrong verb form

reduce

show examples

the duration of using digital devices. First of all, taking part

volunteer

Change preposition

in volunteer

show examples

services not only develops broader social

connection

Fix the agreement mistake

connections

show examples

with others, but it

also

Linking Words

offer

Correct subject-verb agreement

offers

show examples

a great opportunity to understand the underprivileged in our community.

This

Linking Words

can build up a healthier social life and care more

the needed

Replace the word

for those in need

show examples

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the restriction of

adpoting

Correct your spelling

adopting

digital devices

also

Linking Words

plays a vital role in psychological

health

Use synonyms

. If younger people are addicted to

virtual

Correct article usage

the virtual

show examples

world, they will ignore their real needs

Change preposition

apply

show examples

mental

Replace the word

mentally

show examples

Thus

Linking Words

, the government should limit the playing time on online games. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

the younger generation

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

desirable lifespan,

health

Use synonyms

and wealth

due to

Linking Words

the rapid progress of healthcare systems and free access

fiscal

Change preposition

to fiscal

show examples

information on the internet, they omit the importance of

psychocogical

Correct your spelling

psychological

health

Use synonyms

Nonetheless

Linking Words

authorties

Correct your spelling

authorities

should encourage teenagers

joining

Wrong verb form

to join

show examples

more volunteer activities and

decline

Verb problem

reduce

show examples

reliance on digital devices.

thomastai0407

Dec 19, 2025

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task

Make the task clear. State the causes and solutions in a simple and direct way.

organization

Use simple linking words to show flow between ideas.

grammar

Fix grammar and spelling mistakes, like comphensive, soical, psychocogical, authorties.

organization

Begin each paragraph with a clear idea so the reader can follow.

vocabulary

Use easy words. Keep short sentences.

content

There is a clear plan with causes and fixes.

examples

Some good examples about health care and saving.

structure

The essay shows an effort to link ideas with connect words.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

328 words

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in some countries, young people have become richer, healthier and live longer, but they are less happy. What are the causes? What can be done to address the problem?

Some people think that the government should provide unemployed people with a free mobile phone and free access to the internet to help them find jobs.

Nowadays more and more people have to compete with young people for the same jobs. What problems do this cause? What are some possible solutions?

In some countries, it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people think that the main influence on young people's diet is advertising rather than family and friends. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?