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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show what percentage of their daily intake of various nutrients the average person in the USA consumes in each meal and in snacks. These nutrients may be unhealthy if eaten too much.

The charts below show what percentage of their daily intake of various nutrients the average person in the USA consumes in each meal and in snacks. These nutrients may be unhealthy if eaten too much.
The charts show the average percentages of sodium, saturated fat, and added sugars in typical meals in the USA.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that
dinner
Use synonyms
 was the highest percentage,
while
Linking Words
breakfast
Use synonyms
 recorded the lowest figure. There were
also
Linking Words
 noticeable differences between
lunch
Use synonyms
 and
snacks
Use synonyms
. Looking at the chart,
itv
Correct your spelling
it
 can be found that the highest percentage of sodium was for
dinner
Use synonyms
 at 43%.
This
Linking Words
 was followed by
lunch
Use synonyms
 at 29% respectively. Meanwhile, the lowest proportion in
this
Linking Words
 category was recorded in
breakfast
Use synonyms
 and
snacks
Use synonyms
Linking Words
similarly
Punctuation problem
, similarly
show examples
 at 14%. Regarding saturated fat, the greatest figure was reported
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
dinner
Use synonyms
 at 37%. The second and highest values came from
lunch
Use synonyms
 and
snacks
Use synonyms
, which stood at 26% and 21% .
In contrast
Linking Words
, the lowest proportion belonged to
breakfast
Use synonyms
 at 16%. As for added sugar,
snacks
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
th
Correct your spelling
the
 highest percentage at 42%. The next most significant values were seen in
dinner
Use synonyms
 and
lunch
Use synonyms
, which recorded 23% and 19% respectively.
Finally
Linking Words
, the smallest figure in
this
Linking Words
 category was observed in
breakfast
Use synonyms
 at 16%.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words dinner, breakfast, lunch, snacks with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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