IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think the money spent in developing the technology for space exploration is not justified. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, many aspects of life have changed compared to the past, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one of the most influential changes is the rise of
space
Use synonyms
explration
Correct your spelling
exploration
. Some people think the money spent
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 developing the technology for
space
Use synonyms
exploration
Use synonyms
 is
wasting
Wrong verb form
wasted
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss
this
Linking Words
 issue and present my opinion.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
space
Use synonyms
exploration
Use synonyms
one
Verb problem
is one
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 of
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
Use synonyms
science
Fix the agreement mistake
sciences
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, so if we invest
Use synonyms
space
Change preposition
in space
show examples
exploration
Use synonyms
, it may bring us some benefits in the future.
For example
Linking Words
, there are many
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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face
Wrong verb form
facing
show examples
 us in our life
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as global warming, natural disasters, technology
GPS
Punctuation problem
, GPS
show examples
, communication, satellites and others.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
space
Use synonyms
exploration
Use synonyms
 could help us discover facts and information about
space
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
,
space
Use synonyms
science
Use synonyms
 can
helps
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
 in understanding some sciences and issues that still need research and
develpment
Correct your spelling
development
.
For instance
Linking Words
, earth
science
Use synonyms
 and geography
significantly
Verb problem
are significantly
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 related to
space
Use synonyms
science
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are many issues in our lives that may be the first. It is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say that many problems need to
solve
Wrong verb form
be solved
show examples
insted
Correct your spelling
instead
Use synonyms
space
Correct word choice
of space
show examples
exploration
Use synonyms
, because it has
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
 effect
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as pollution, diseases, and others.
Linking Words
thus
Fix capitalization
Thus
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,
although
Linking Words
 the money spent on
this
Linking Words
 domain, it is like other
domins
Correct your spelling
domains
 need research. In my opinion, I tend to disagree that
space
Use synonyms
exploration
Use synonyms
 is not justified, and
spent
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
mony
Correct your spelling
money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 it
consider wasting
Wrong verb form
is considered a waste
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, I believe it
like
Verb problem
is like
show examples
 other
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
, and we should
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
develping
Correct your spelling
developing
 it. By way of conclusion, with advanced technology, we should invest in
every
Use the right word
everything
show examples
 think may lead to
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 side for society.

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structure
Fix the order of ideas. Use a clear intro, two or three body parts, and a short ending.
content
Add one clear idea per paragraph and give a simple example.
language
Check spelling and grammar. Common errors include misspelled words and wrong forms. Use correct tense and noun form.
cohesion
Use linking words to show contrast and add flow between ideas (but, however, also, first, next, finally).
strength
The writer gives an opinion.
strength
Some attempt to discuss both sides.
structure
There is an ending paragraph.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • justified expenditure
  • technological advances
  • earthly concerns
  • telecommunications
  • environmental conservation
  • inspire innovation
  • diplomatic relationships
  • peaceful cooperation
  • long-term survival
  • colonization
  • commercial ventures
What to do next:
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