IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some schools have restricted the use of mobile phones. Is this a positive development or a negative one? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples fromyour own knowledge or experience.

There has
an
Verb problem
been an
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 ongoing debate whether
the
Correct article usage
apply
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schools have the right to
restric
Correct your spelling
restrict
 the use of mobile phones
, some
Punctuation problem
. Some
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people
Use synonyms
 argue that
might
Correct pronoun usage
it might
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affects
Wrong verb form
affect
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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student development in
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
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 manner
,
Punctuation problem
.
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In
Change preposition
From
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 my
perspective
Punctuation problem
perspective,
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 I believe
the
Verb problem
restricting the
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restrication
Correct your spelling
use
 of
using
Verb problem
apply
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mobile at
shcools
Correct your spelling
schools
 is
good
Correct article usage
a good
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 approach. In
this
Linking Words
modren
Correct your spelling
modern
 world,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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mobile phones
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 one of the most common ways for communication between individuals
, it
Punctuation problem
. It
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 is undeniable that mobile
Check wording
phones offers
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offers
Correct subject-verb agreement
offer
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 a quick communication channel among
people
Use synonyms
 without any limitations
,
Punctuation problem
. For
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for example
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, you can
make
Verb problem
have
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 a conversation with someone who is living
oversea
Fix the agreement mistake
overseas
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,
also
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 you can
make
Verb problem
also have
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 a meeting with
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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 at your
convenance
Correct your spelling
convenience
 without
bothering
Verb problem
worrying about
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 the
far
Correct word choice
apply
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distances
Fix the agreement mistake
distance
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.
Linking Words
additionally
Fix capitalization
Additionally
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, mobile
doesn't
Verb problem
not
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 only
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
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 a vital role in communication, but
also
Linking Words
 they been a
resource
Use the right word
source
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 of truth,
for instance
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can access the internet through their mobile phones and
searched
Wrong verb form
search
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any
Change preposition
for any
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 information they would like and they
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
 the results in seconds.
Linking Words
in
Fix capitalization
In
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 contrast, with
acknowledgment
Change the spelling
acknowledgement
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 of the important role
for
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of
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 mobile in the present time
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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also
Linking Words
, based
of
Change preposition
on
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 the recent
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
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, they found that mobile
became
Wrong verb form
has become
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 the most
tool
Verb problem
used tool
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 that causes thinking
distrucations
Correct your spelling
distractions
of
Change preposition
in
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people
Use synonyms
, the
Punctuation problem
. The
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 variety of
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
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 today
in
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on
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web
Correct article usage
the web
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 they
are
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is
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 unlimited,
Correct pronoun usage
which keep
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keep
Correct subject-verb agreement
keeps
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 them not focusing on one topic
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 might affect
learning
Correct article usage
the learning
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 curve of the person. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 the mobile is very
significent
Correct your spelling
significant
 but the
restrication
Correct your spelling
restriction
 at schools will ensure
student
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students
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 focus
to
Change preposition
on
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 class and lessons.

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task response
Be clear at once on your view. Then give two or three real points that support it and one counter point.
structure
Make one idea per paragraph. Start with a short intro, then 2 body paragraphs, then a short conclusion.
coherence
Use linking words like but, also, so, for example to show how ideas are linked. Keep order logical.
grammar
Watch spelling and form of the word. Use correct verbs and plural forms.
vocabulary
Use easy but exact words. Do not use hard word that you cannot spell.
stance
Clear view that schools can limit use to help focus
content balance
Gives real ideas for both sides
examples
Uses examples like talking to someone far away
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • minimize distractions
  • cyberbullying
  • inappropriate content
  • face-to-face interaction
  • enhancing social skills
  • emergencies
  • educational opportunities
  • learning tools
  • resistance
  • essential for communication
  • safety purposes
What to do next:
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