IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table and pie chart give information about the population in Australia according to different nationalities and areas.

The table and pie chart present the data about
people
Use synonyms
 who live in
Use synonyms
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
 or in the
city
Use synonyms
 in Australia and their
nationality
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
Use synonyms
Australian
Correct article usage
the Australian
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 have the highest percentage of
people
Use synonyms
who live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 there. The table shows
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
that the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 live in the
city
Use synonyms
. Looking at the pie chart , there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 73
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
Australian
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 who live in Australia and at the same time
it
Punctuation problem
, it
show examples
 is the most popular
nationality
Use synonyms
 in the country.
British
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 are almost ten times fewer
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
show examples
 Australians
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is 7% of
all
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
population
Use synonyms
. New Zealanders account for 3% of the total
population
Use synonyms
, which is 4 percentage
lower
Check wording
points lower
show examples
 than that of
Use synonyms
British
Correct article usage
the British
show examples
people
Use synonyms
. The total
population
Use synonyms
 of Chinese
people
Use synonyms
 in Australia is 2
percents
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
. The lowest
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
nationality
Use synonyms
 is Dutch
people
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is 1% of
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
population
Use synonyms
. The other
nationality
Use synonyms
 makes up 14%, which in total
more
Verb problem
is more
show examples
 than the
British
Use synonyms
, the Chinese , the Dutch and
New
Correct article usage
the New
show examples
Zealander
Fix the agreement mistake
Zealanders
show examples
 in summary. Looking at the stats , a large number of
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to live in
Use synonyms
city
Correct article usage
a city
show examples
. There
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 70% of
Australian
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 who live in the
city
Use synonyms
 and 20% who live in
Use synonyms
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
. The
British
Use synonyms
 who live in
Use synonyms
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 89% which is 9% more than
Use synonyms
Australian
Use the right word
Australians
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 11% in
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
country side
Use the right word
countryside
show examples
.90
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of New Zealanders live in
Use synonyms
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 10% in
Use synonyms
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
 . The highest percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 who live in
Use synonyms
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
 is the Chinese, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 99
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and only 1% who live in
different
Correct article usage
a different
show examples
 area . The
last
Linking Words
 one is
Dutch
Correct article usage
the Dutch
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
people,
show examples
 where 83% live in the
city
Use synonyms
 and 17% in
Use synonyms
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, countryside, city, nationality, australian, british, population with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic data
  • population distribution
  • nationality groups
  • urban planning
  • cultural diversity
  • social policy
  • demographic trends
  • rural vs. urban distribution
  • reflect on the implications
  • cultural exchange
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