IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

your local hospital has advertised for people to do some unpaid work helping at the hospital. You would like to do some work at the hospital in your free time. Write a letter to the hospital. in your letter - explain why you would like to do unpaid work at the hospital -Say what type of unpaid work you would be able to do -give details of when you would be available for this work

Dear Sir/ Madam, I am writing in connection with a recent advertisement posted on the requirement of people who can perform volunteer
work
Use synonyms
 at the hospital. I am a student at the University of Calgary. As part of my research project in "Health and Science", I have to submit a paper on various health issues experienced by elderly people.
Hence
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, I would like to perform unpaid
work
Use synonyms
 at the hospital to support patients,
while
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 collecting data for my project
work
Use synonyms
. I can provide physical assistance to old-age people,
for instance
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, I can take them for
walking
Wrong verb form
a walk
show examples
, feed them , and give them medicines.
Additionally
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,
this
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 will give me an opportunity to interact with them and understand their health concerns, which will be helpful for my project
work
Use synonyms
 as well. I am available to start anytime as per the requirements. Please update me if I have to share any
further
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 details before I begin my duty. I would be grateful if you could provide me with
this
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 opportunity. Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing your response at your earliest convenience. Yours sincerely, Jeevitha S

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structure
Some sentences are long. Try to make one idea per line or split long sentences into two.
word choice
Use 'older people' or 'elderly people' instead of 'old-age people' for clear meaning.
content
Avoid saying you will give medicines. Volunteer work is done by staff care. Rephrase this part.
availability
Give a few specific times you can help, for example mornings on Mon and Wed.
language
Check little grammar, like 'Sir/ Madam' or 'Dear Sir or Madam' for a neat start.
tone
Polite and formal tone.
content
Clear reason for the work and linked to study.
structure
Says when they can start and asks for more info.
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