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Band 7

Discussion Essay Questions: Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There is an ongoing debate regarding how to decide on
punishments
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 for criminals.
While
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 some
people
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 believe that each offence should have a fixed punishment, others argue that
punishments
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 should be given after analysing the circumstances and motive. In my opinion, I agree with the latter view because
such
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 decisions enforce fair treatment and provide an opportunity to reduce crime rates.
This
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 essay will discuss both views and my opinion with relevant examples. On the one hand, critics argue that fixed charges are better to deter
people
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 from committing
crimes
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. If the public is aware of
such
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 charges for each offence, they will understand the consequences before getting involved in
such
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 activities.
Therefore
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,
this
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 kind of awareness will significantly reduce the number of
crimes
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, which will ensure the safety and security of society.
For example
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, in China, the government has enforced long-term sentencing even for minor theft and burglary, which deters the public from getting involved, and,
as a result
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, minor
crimes
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 are significantly reduced.
On the other hand
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, analysing the motive and circumstances is crucial to give fair treatment.
In other words
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, sometimes claims might be faulty that could convict innocent
people
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 in certain situations, thereby giving a standard punishment is not fair in
such
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 cases.
Hence
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, understanding the situation and motivation gives an opportunity to identify criminals and give them chances to reintegrate with society.
For instance
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, it is evident that judges often encourage offenders to have lawyers in order to support their views in courts to ensure
punishments
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 are lawful. From my perspective, despite fixed
punishments
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, though it acts as a threat to deter criminals from getting involved in
such
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 activities, officials should analyse the purpose and situations of
such
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crimes
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 to give the right
punishments
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 which protect innocents from being convicted. In conclusion,
although
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 some
people
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 believe that fixed
punishments
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 reduce
crimes
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 and deter offenders, I believe that analysing the purpose and circumstances of
such
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crimes
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 is crucial before deciding on
punishments
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, as it protects innocents and gives opportunity to integrate with society.

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task response
Task response: The essay covers both views and states your opinion. To reach a higher band, develop your main ideas with clearer, more linked arguments and specific reasoning.
coherence
Cohesion: Use more linking words to connect sentences and ideas, and ensure each paragraph has a single central idea.
structure
Structure: Include a clear topic sentence in each paragraph, and finish with a concise conclusion that restates your position.
lexical
Lexical: Use accurate words; some phrases are a bit awkward. Try to paraphrase more and avoid repetition.
grammar
Grammar: Some sentences are run-ons or awkward; check subject-verb agreement and prepositions.
structure
Clear layout with introduction, two body parts, and conclusion.
task response
You state your own view and offer examples.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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