IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that schools should focus more on teaching practical skills rather than theoretical knowledge. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is often argued that educational institutions should concentrate on educating hands-on
skills
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instead
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 of focusing on theory-based learning. I strongly agree with
this
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 statement because
such
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skills
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 can be used in workplaces
while
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 enhancing their practical
knowledge
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, which can be applied in
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss my views with relevant examples.
To begin
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 with, individuals encourage practical
education
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 because
such
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skills
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 are useful in work environments.
This
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 means that certain industrial
jobs
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,
such
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 as working
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 machinery or carpentry, require
students
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 to have
tech
Use the right word
technical
show examples
knowledge
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 to deal with tools and machines
instead
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 of textbook
knowledge
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.
For instance
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, an average of 25 % of youngsters prefer
jobs
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 after finishing their school
education
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.
Therefore
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, if the school curriculum can include
such
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 vocational training and teaching methods, it will benefit
students
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 to find employment when they complete their higher secondary
education
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.
Furthermore
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, employers give preference to employees who have real-time experience during the recruitment process. The reason is that workers can perform their
jobs
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 efficiently from the beginning , provided with less training.
Moreover
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, certain children are more interested in learning practical
skills
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 rather than traditional textbook
education
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.
Hence
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, learning centres should have varied teaching practices to support children
according to
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 their interests.
However
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, some advocates claim that theoretical
knowledge
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 is crucial in
education
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 for certain
jobs
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 , like doctors and teachers. In my opinion, schools can provide a combination of teaching methods where
students
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 can choose
according to
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 their preferences without forcing them to focus on similar types of learning. In conclusion, some people argue that learning centres should concentrate on
tech
Use the right word
technical
show examples
skillsskills
Correct your spelling
skills
 rather than traditional learning methods. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement as it positively benefits
students
Use synonyms
 who would like to work in industrial
jobs
Use synonyms
 after finishing their school
education
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.
Hence
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, I believe that educational institutions should have a varied approach in teaching young people
according to
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 their preferences.

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improvement
Plan your essay with 4 main ideas and link each back to your main view to be clear.
improvement
Use exact facts or common sense examples and avoid vague numbers.
improvement
Check grammar and use short sentences. Break long lines into 2 parts.
improvement
Keep a formal tone and avoid words that are not needed.
improvement
Give a small counter point and then a quick reply to show balance.
strength
A clear view is shown in the first part of the essay.
strength
There are some good examples in the middle of the essay.
strength
Link words are used to show how ideas are connected.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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