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Writing Samples
Band 4

Art classes, such as painting and drawing are as important to a child ‘s development as other objects, so it should be compulsory in high school. To what extent you agree or disagree?

In the modern world, some people believe that
art
Use synonyms
classes
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 like drawing and painting are very important for
students
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, and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 should be compulsory in high school. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea because
art
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 can help
students
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 in many ways in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
art
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classes
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 can make
students
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 more creative
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they can
show
Verb problem
express
show examples
 their feelings. Many
students
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 feel
stress
Replace the word
stressed
show examples
 because they have many exams and homework, so drawing can help them relax and feel better.
Also
Linking Words
,
students
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 can learn how to use
colors
Change the spelling
colours
show examples
 and make simple pictures.
For example
Linking Words
, some
students
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 like to draw famous
persons
Check wording
people
show examples
 or old things from history, and
this
Linking Words
 can make them enjoy the class more.
On the other hand
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,
art
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 can
also
Linking Words
 help
students
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 in the future. Some
students
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 may use
art
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 as a job or a small business.
For instance
Linking Words
, they can paint houses
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 or draw pictures for people and get money.
In addition
Linking Words
, there are many jobs
need
Verb problem
that require
show examples
 creativity
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
 design and advertising, so
art
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 is useful for them. But not all
students
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 like
art
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, and some of them think it is not
important
Rephrase
as important
show examples
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
 math or science. In conclusion, I think
art
Use synonyms
classes
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 should be compulsory in high school because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
students
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 to be creative and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can help them in future jobs.
However
Linking Words
, schools should not
give
Verb problem
put
show examples
 too much pressure and they should make
art
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classes
Use synonyms
 simple and enjoyable for everyone.

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task response
State your main view in the intro and repeat it in the end to show a clear line of view.
task response
Try to say plan in the first paragraph so the reader knows what you will say.
coherence
Use linking words like and, but, and also to show how ideas go together and make a smooth flow.
task response
Clear position is shown and kept through the essay.
coherence
Good use of simple examples like stress and job ideas to back points.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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