IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that in the future, environmental problems will mean that we are unable to live on this planet. In order to survive, the human species will need to find another planet that can support life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. STEP 2 - Write your answer words 252/500

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
The
Environments Issues
Replace the word
environmental issues
show examples
spreading
Verb problem
are spreading
show examples
 all around the
planet
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
The minority says that we
cant
Correct your spelling
can't
 survive anymore.
for
Fix capitalization
For
show examples
 that
;
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 we need
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
planet
Use synonyms
 to live
, in
Change preposition
on, in
show examples
 my
opinion
Punctuation problem
opinion,
show examples
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
 impossible to
acheive
Correct your spelling
achieve
this
Linking Words
 Point Of view .
Body paragraph 1
Humans are responsible for their actions
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is
crusial
Correct your spelling
crucial
 to accept the results
, many
Punctuation problem
. Many
show examples
 pollution problems
effected
Verb problem
affect
show examples
 the
wild lide
Correct your spelling
wildlife
, sea creatures and even more
,
Punctuation problem
. For
show examples
for
Linking Words
example
Punctuation problem
example,
show examples
 many
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
fish
Change preposition
of fish
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been infected
due to
Linking Words
 bad air consumption
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
Linking Words
However
Punctuation problem
However,
show examples
 awareness could be a major key factor for
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 sea
,
Punctuation problem
. For
show examples
for
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
organization
Use the right word
organisations
show examples
 that care about
sealife
Use the right word
sea life
show examples
 and so on.
Body paragraph 2
In addition
Linking Words
 , wildlife is very important for nature balance
, any
Punctuation problem
. Any
show examples
 insect or animal
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 an important
in
Check wording
role in
show examples
 the nature balance
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
; therefore
show examples
therefore
Punctuation problem
therefore,
show examples
 it can impact many areas
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as the weather and the heat
temporature
Correct your spelling
temperature
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
in
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other
hand
Punctuation problem
hand,
show examples
 the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 can impose rules and very strict
instuction
Correct your spelling
instructions
 to protect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wild life
Use the right word
wildlife
show examples
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
example
Punctuation problem
example,
show examples
 stop hunting and start being so careful
wih
Correct your spelling
with
forest
Correct article usage
the forest
show examples
 .
Body paragraph 3
Furthermore
Linking Words
 ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education is
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
 step for
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
better
Punctuation problem
better,
show examples
healthy
Replace the word
healthier
show examples
planet
Use synonyms
 , increasing
awarenss
Correct your spelling
awareness
 about the
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
 and forcing kids to learn new green habits will change the whole
proscpect
Correct your spelling
perspective
, in
fact
Punctuation problem
fact,
show examples
 children tend to be very easy to learn
somthing
Correct your spelling
something
 new .
Conclusion
In conclusion ,
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
 not
logicallly
Correct your spelling
logically
 possible to leave the
planet
Use synonyms
ans
Correct your spelling
and
 search for
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 one
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
speading awarenss
Correct your spelling
spreading awareness
 and forcing new rules to respect the
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
 is the must call to action
Correct pronoun usage
that need
show examples
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 to be educated and done .

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

planning
Plan your answer before you write. State your view in one line in the start.
structure
Write an introduction that says what you think and what you will talk about.
organization
Make each paragraph talk about one idea. Start with a topic sentence.
coherence
Use simple join words (and, but, also, because) to link ideas.
language
Check spelling and grammar. Use punctuation to end sentences.
content
Give one or two clear examples for your points. Keep them easy and true.
idea
You show a view about the topic and try to answer the task.
coherence
You use some linking words to join ideas.
content
There is an effort to give examples.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: