IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, parents are choosing to teach children themselves at home instead of sending thier kids to school. Do the advantages of homeschooling outweigh the disadvantages?

In
this
Linking Words
 day and age, many parents are choosing to homeschool their
children
Use synonyms
 rather than send them to receive a formal
education
Use synonyms
. With the ever-changing nature of
education
Use synonyms
, more and more families are opting for
this
Linking Words
.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that homeschooling poses more disadvantages than advantages. On one hand, the school system provides more than just
education
Use synonyms
. It allows
children
Use synonyms
 to interact with their peers, fostering other
skills
Use synonyms
including
Punctuation problem
, including
show examples
 collaboration and communication. These
skills
Use synonyms
 are crucial in life and are things that must be taught and learnt as a
child
Use synonyms
 grows. Homeschooling limits the chance of
this
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 are not exposed to as many
children
Use synonyms
 of the same age.
This
Linking Words
 could be detrimental to their growth.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
schools
Use synonyms
 have the resources to help a
child
Use synonyms
 excel.
While
Linking Words
 it is true that some
schools
Use synonyms
 may lack the proper
resouces
Correct your spelling
resources
 needed in some cases, it is not the norm. Most
schools
Use synonyms
 will have trained professionals who are aware of what
children
Use synonyms
 need to develop
wholistically
Use the right word
holistically
show examples
, not just academically.
This
Linking Words
 can only be replicated in some circumstances of homeschooling, not most.
As a result
Linking Words
, I firmly believe that normal
schools
Use synonyms
 provide more advantages than homeschooling.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is no denying that homeschooling comes with its own positives.
First,
Linking Words
it allows
children
Use synonyms
 to have more time with their instructor. In
schools
Use synonyms
, the ratio of
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 to students averages at around 1:26. With homeschooling, it could be as low as
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
on one
Use the right word
one-on-one
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 benefits the
child
Use synonyms
 greatly as their instructor is more aware of their needs and their strengths, allowing tailored
education
Use synonyms
.
Second,
Linking Words
it
also
Linking Words
 allows the teaching to match the
child
Use synonyms
's pace. Not every
child
Use synonyms
 learn at the same speed
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 homeschooling addresses
this
Linking Words
. With that said, some
skills
Use synonyms
, like the collaboration skill mentioned earlier, are too important to be shelved
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 homeschooling lacks the proper environment to hone
such
Linking Words
skills
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, both formal schooling and
homeschool
Replace the word
homeschooling
show examples
offers
Correct subject-verb agreement
offer
show examples
 advantages and disadvantages. It is important to acknowledge the duality of both sides.
While
Linking Words
 homeschooling can be beneficial as it offers more tailored instructions and approaches, it does not, in my opinion, trump real
schools
Use synonyms
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 there are things you can only learn in the presence of other students and professional teachers.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task
Task response: Make a stronger final view. State clearly if you think the good sides of homeschooling outweigh the bad, or not. Give a short conclusion that fits your view. Add a specific example to back up the main idea.
coherence
Coherence and cohesion: Keep ideas in a steady line. Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph. Link ideas with easy words like also, but, however. Avoid long, hard sentences. Make sure each sentence ties clearly to the main idea.
structure
The essay shows a clear view and uses 'On one hand' and 'On the other hand' to show sides.
content
The argument notes two main benefits of school and two of homeschooling.
organization
There is a simple order: intro, body with two sides, conclusion.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: