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Band 7.5

In some countries, university students live away from home and in another city while studying. Do you think the disadvantsges outweigh the advantages of living in another city?

In the modern world, it is undeniable that many university
students
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 choose to live away from home in another
city
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while
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 pursuing their studies.
While
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this
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 situation presents certain challenges, I believe that the advantages of living in another
city
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 outweigh the disadvantages. On the one hand, there are several benefits associated with living independently in another
city
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. One of the most obvious advantages is that
students
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 develop important life skills. To illustrate, managing accommodation, budgeting money, and handling daily responsibilities encourage independence and self-reliance.
For instance
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,
students
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 who live on their own often learn how to plan their expenses and manage their time more effectively.
In addition
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, living in a new environment exposes
students
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 to diverse cultures and lifestyles, which broadens their perspectives and improves social skills.
This
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 experience can help them become more adaptable and confident individuals.
On the other hand
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, there are
also
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 some drawbacks related to living away from home that should not be overlooked. One major disadvantage is homesickness and emotional stress. To clarify,
students
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 may miss their families and feel lonely, especially during the early stages of their studies.
For example
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, some
students
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 struggle to adjust to a new
city
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 and unfamiliar surroundings. Another concern is the higher cost of living. Rent, transportation, and daily expenses can place financial pressure on
students
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 and their families. To recapitulate, it is evident that living in another
city
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 can be challenging
due to
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 emotional and financial difficulties,
while
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 the main benefits include independence, personal growth, and broader life experience. Having considered both sides thoroughly, I have personally come to believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, as the skills and experiences gained from living away from home are valuable for
students
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’ future lives.

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content
Add a few precise examples to show your ideas clearly and make them stronger.
language
Check small words and do not use long, hard sentences too often.
structure
Keep the same view in the end and restate it with a strong note.
task response
Clear view that living away from home has more good than bad.
coherence
Good use of 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to show both sides.
content
Reasoning about life skills and social growth is well shown.
structure
Conclusion restates position clearly.
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