IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that the intemet is increasing the gap between the rich and poor, while others argue that it helps to reduce this gap. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

In my view,
while
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 the
internet
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 does present certain barriers to entry, its capacity to democratize information and provide global opportunities ultimately makes it a powerful
equalizer
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equaliser
show examples
.
Although
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 many people believe that the
internet
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 is significantly widening the economic
gap
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 between the wealthy and the impoverished, others argue that it actually serves as a vital tool in reducing
this
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 inequality.
To begin
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 with,
while
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 impoverished communities frequently struggle with a lack of modern devices, reliable
internet
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 connectivity, and essential digital literacy skills,
this
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 persistent digital divide inevitably causes the
internet
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 to widen the
gap
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 between the rich and the poor. Because affluent individuals are better positioned to exploit high-paying remote careers, complex online investment portfolios, and elite digital education platforms, the
internet
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 often serves to amplify their economic advantages over the less fortunate.
Furthermore
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, even though the digital divide remains a challenge, the
internet
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 significantly helps to reduce the wealth
gap
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 by providing the underprivileged with unprecedented
access
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 to free or low-cost educational resources,
such
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 as
specialized
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specialised
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 online courses, professional tutorials, and open university programs. Insofar as these individuals can acquire new skills without the burden of expensive tuition, they are
then
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 able to
access
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 global income opportunities, provided that they leverage digital platforms for freelancing, e-commerce, and social media marketing to compete in the modern workforce. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 some argue that the
internet
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 exacerbates the wealth
gap
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due to
Linking Words
 the persistent digital divide and unequal
access
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 to elite opportunities, others maintain that it serves as a powerful tool for social mobility because it democratizes education and opens global markets to the underprivileged. Ultimately, the impact of the
internet
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 depends on whether society can ensure equal
access
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 for all, given that technology alone cannot bridge the disparity without the necessary digital skills and infrastructure.

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task
Make your view clear in the intro and keep a strong line through all paragraphs.
content
Give one or two exact, simple examples to show how the internet helps people.
style
Use shorter, plain sentences to keep ideas easy to follow.
language
Less use of long phrases; use plain words like 'but' and 'however' for links.
content
Your view on both sides shows balance.
structure
The essay has a clear end that asks for equal access.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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