IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Many people are addicted to social media. How we can reduce harmful effects it, prevent social media addiction?

In today’s rapidly developing world, the question of whether social
media
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 gives rise to harmful
effects
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 on individuals is a topic of ongoing debate.
While
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 social
media
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 is unquestionably essential, I agree with the idea that excessive use can be harmful.
One
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On
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 the one hand, there are several compelling
reason
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reasons
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 why social
media
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 does not give rise to harmful
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effects
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effects,
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is
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such as
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 its addictive design. If major people's leisure activities are
inextricable
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inextricably
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 intertwined with technology because they often spend a lot of time scrolling through social
media
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 feeds, binge-watching captivating
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TV series
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TV-series
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TV-series,
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 are playing immersive video games. They help them lift their spirits and find respite from daily stressors.
Wheather
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Whether
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 it be academic pressure, job responsibility and others.
On the other hand
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, the negative implications of online social networks are
damage face to face
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damaging face-to-face
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 relationships and
increase
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increasing
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 stress, anxiety. If some individuals use
to
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apply
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social
media
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platforms
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platforms,
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 it leads to damage
which
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, which
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 may
stress
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cause stress
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anxiety
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, anxiety
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and
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, and
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 others.
As a result
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, negative
effects
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 on mental health may come into existence
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,
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thereby increasing levels of anxiety and stress.
To sum up
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 everything that has been started so far.
While
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 more and more people think social
media
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 cannot harmful
effects
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. I feel that online social
network
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networks
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 can
negatively
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negative
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Use synonyms
effects
Fix the agreement mistake
effect
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for
Change preposition
on
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 everyone Eshdavlatova Zilola

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structure
Plan your essay with a clear order: short intro, two body parts with one main idea each, and a short end. Stick to this plan.
task response
Say your view in the first paragraph and keep to it. Do not switch sides in the same paragraph.
coherence
Link your ideas with simple words like also, but, for example to help flow.
grammar
Check grammar and spell: use 'On the one hand', 'whether', 'instead of' ' Weather' is wrong.
content
The writer shows a clear view that too much use can hurt.
structure
There is an attempt to discuss both sides of the issue.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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