IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000.

The bar chart gives information about the modes of transport used to travel in one European city during the
period
Use synonyms
 from 1960 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the four types of transport exhibited different trends over the given
period
Use synonyms
, the car followed an upward trajectory,
whereas
Linking Words
 the bus showed a decline.
However
Linking Words
, both train and tube fluctuated throughout the
period
Use synonyms
. As the chart shows, in 1960, car usage stood at over 5% and continued to grow moderately to nearly 23% in 1980.
However
Linking Words
, it maintained an upward trend, ending at almost 37% by 2000. Bus usage
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
commenced at approximately 38% in 1960,
then
Linking Words
 dropped rapidly to slightly over 25% in 1980.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, it fell drastically , reaching 15% by 2000.
By contrast
Linking Words
, trains began at around 15% and tubes just above 25% in 1960.
Thereafter
Linking Words
, both
Punctuation problem
Both
show examples
 experienced some fluctuations until the end of the
period
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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