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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000.

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The bar chart gives information about the modes of transport used to travel in one European city during the
period
Use synonyms
 from 1960 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the four types of transport exhibited different trends over the given
period
Use synonyms
, the car followed an upward trajectory,
whereas
Linking Words
 the bus showed a decline.
However
Linking Words
, both train and tube fluctuated throughout the
period
Use synonyms
. As the chart shows, in 1960, car usage stood at over 5% and continued to grow moderately to nearly 23% in 1980.
However
Linking Words
, it maintained an upward trend, ending at almost 37% by 2000. Bus usage
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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commenced at approximately 38% in 1960,
then
Linking Words
 dropped rapidly to slightly over 25% in 1980.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, it fell drastically , reaching 15% by 2000.
By contrast
Linking Words
, trains began at around 15% and tubes just above 25% in 1960.
Thereafter
Linking Words
, both
Punctuation problem
Both
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 experienced some fluctuations until the end of the
period
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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