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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many nations, it is becoming mandatory to receive vaccinations in order to prevent the spread of disease. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In many countries, receiving a vaccine has become one of the most important ways to prevent the spread of
diseases
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such
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 as cholera. In my view,
this
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 development is positive, as the benefits of vaccination clearly outweigh the drawbacks.
Vaccines
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, in general, are a relatively new medical achievement in human history. Before the eighteenth century, when a disease spread across the world, it often killed a large number of people or caused serious long-term
health
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 problems.
However
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, after
vaccines
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 were invented, many deadly
diseases
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 became controllable.
This
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 led to an increase in population over time and
also
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 improved the average life expectancy of people.
For example
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, cholera was once a widespread disease that caused many deaths, but after the discovery of
vaccines
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 and medical treatments, the number of deaths decreased significantly.
Moreover
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, without
vaccines
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 in modern times, many people would die even from common viruses or low-risk
diseases
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.
This
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 would
also
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 lead to the rapid spread of illnesses worldwide.
Due to
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 easy transportation between countries and continents,
diseases
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 can quickly become global problems, affecting not only
health
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 systems but
also
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 economic and industrial sectors. A clear example is the recent coronavirus pandemic, which caused strict lockdowns across the world and severely damaged the global economy. The situation improved only after
vaccines
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 became available and were widely used. In conclusion,
vaccines
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 play a vital role in global development. Without them, the world would face serious
health
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, economic, and social challenges similar to those experienced during the coronavirus pandemic. I strongly believe that
vaccines
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 should be mandatory, as they are essential for improving public
health
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 and protecting societies.

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task response
Have a clear plan at the start and finish with a strong view.
task response
Add one more side or limits to the view to show balance.
coherence cohesion
Use more simple link words to show order of ideas.
content accuracy
Be careful with facts about vaccines and history; check accuracy.
grammar
Keep sentences short and easy; use 1 idea per sentence.
lexical resource
Use common words from easy list for clarity.
task response
The essay has a clear view and uses examples well.
coherence cohesion
Good paragraphing and overall flow.
communication quality
Reader can follow main idea easily.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • herd immunity
  • contagious diseases
  • public health safety
  • individual rights
  • preventable diseases
  • healthcare systems
  • ethical implications
  • bodily autonomy
  • inequitable access
  • cultural factors
  • economic factors
  • political factors
  • mandatory vaccinations
  • vaccination rates
  • outbreaks
  • hospitalizations
  • consent
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