In many countries governments are living in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money.
Recently, authorities worldwide have been refining new
technology
to better serve the people. Personally, I think that this
is a good use
of public funds and that the cause for this
move is the rising number of offenders.
First of all, it is important to realize that there are
an increasing number of criminals in public spaces. Correct subject-verb agreement
is
As a result
, financial crises are getting worse all across the world. Because of this
, a lot of people will encounter challenging circumstances, lose their jobs, and need to steal cash or snacks in order to pay for their expenses. In addition
, when the state of world politics becomes increasingly volatile, governments can use
modern technology
, such
webcams
, to monitor and protect their citizens. Change preposition
as webcams
For instance
, the government has installed several cameras, inspecting gates, and x-ray machines at Tan Son Nhat Airport, a vital location that receives a large number of travelers
each day, in an effort to protect citizens from terrorism.
Given the advantages of Change the spelling
travellers
this
course of action, it is accurate to state that it is an appropriate use
of public funds. This
is due to
the accuracy and effectiveness of modern technology
. Moreover
, a crucial requirement for managing the public is that some of them be able to work continuously. Using the speed measuring equipment as an example, users can use
it on highways and other roads to record the speed of their vehicles and transmit the data to law enforcement. Police officers no longer have to stand in the sweltering sun or on overcast days.
In conclusion, as the proportion of criminals rises, many governments are spending money on new technology
. Therefore
, this
is an appropriate use
of public funds and has the potential to result in positive changes.Submitted by [email protected] on
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Task Achievement
Be sure to directly address all parts of the task. Your essay sometimes deviated from the primary topic of why governments are investing in new technology and its appropriateness.
Task Achievement
Try to provide more varied and relevant examples to strengthen your arguments. While the examples given are good, incorporating a broader range could enhance your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Maintain a clear and logical flow of ideas throughout your essay. While you've done well in structuring your essay, some parts could benefit from clearer transitions and linkages between ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Be consistent in your point of view and ensure that your conclusion aligns with the arguments presented in the body of your essay.
Introduction/Conclusion
You have made a commendable effort in introducing and concluding your essay, providing a clear framework for your discussion.
Supported Main Points
Your use of technology-related examples, like speed measuring equipment and security measures at airports, effectively illustrates your points.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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