IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that air travel should be restricted because it causes environmental pollution. How far do you agree or disagree?

In the modern world, it is undeniable that
air
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travel
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 has become a major contributor to environmental pollution, particularly through carbon emissions.
As a result
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, some people argue that
air
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travel
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 should be restricted to protect the environment.
While
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 I agree that aviation has a significant environmental impact, I do not believe that restricting
air
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travel
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 is the most effective solution. One of the most obvious reasons to support
this
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 view is that
air
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travel
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 contributes heavily to climate change. To illustrate, aircraft release large amounts of greenhouse gases at high altitudes, which intensify global warming.
For instance
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, frequent short-haul flights taken for leisure or business could often be replaced by more environmentally friendly alternatives
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as trains. From
this
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 perspective, limiting unnecessary flights may help reduce emissions and encourage people to adopt more sustainable
travel
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 habits.
However
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, another point that should not be overlooked is that
air
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travel
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 plays a crucial role in the global economy and modern life. To clarify, aviation supports international trade, tourism, and cultural exchange, and it enables people to
travel
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 long distances efficiently.
For example
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, restricting flights could severely affect developing countries that rely on tourism as a major source of income.
Furthermore
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,
instead
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 of restricting
air
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travel
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, governments and airlines should focus on technological innovation,
such
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 as developing fuel-efficient aircraft, using sustainable aviation fuels, and improving
air
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 traffic management to reduce emissions. To recapitulate, it is evident that
air
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travel
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 contributes to environmental pollution, and efforts must be made to address
this
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 issue.
However
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, I believe that restricting
air
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travel
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 is not the best approach. A more effective solution is to invest in greener technologies and encourage responsible
travel
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 choices, allowing society to balance environmental protection with economic and social needs.

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clarity
Be clear on your view at the start of the essay.
development
Make each paragraph have one main idea and add a clear example for it.
coherence
Use simple words to connect ideas, such as 'for this reason' or 'as a result' to link points.
examples
Add a few more real world facts or numbers to back up your claim.
language
Check small grammar and spelling to keep the flow smooth.
strength
Clear view on the issue and a balanced approach.
strength
Good form with an intro, body, and conclusion.
strength
Reasoning is easy to follow and well organized.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • significant contributor
  • pollution
  • carbon emissions
  • restrict
  • alternative modes of transportation
  • environmentally friendly
  • technological advancements
  • economic benefits
  • environmental concerns
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