IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a positive or negative development?

In the modern world, it is undeniable that many
parents
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 place excessive
pressure
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 on their
children
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 to achieve success.
This
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 trend has become increasingly common in today’s competitive societies. In
this
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 essay, an attempt will be made to examine the reasons behind
this
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 behaviour,
along with
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 its positive and negative aspects. One of the most apparent reasons for
this
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pressure
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 is intense competition in education and the job market. To illustrate,
parents
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 often believe that academic success is the key to securing stable employment and financial security in the future.
For instance
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, in many countries, limited university places and high unemployment rates encourage
parents
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 to push their
children
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 to achieve top grades from an early age.
In addition
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, social comparison plays an important role, as
parents
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 may feel judged based on their
children
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’s achievements, which
further
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 motivates them to demand high performance. The main positive aspect of
this
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 situation is that
pressure
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 can sometimes motivate
children
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 to develop discipline and strong work habits. To clarify,
children
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 who are encouraged to set high goals may become more determined and resilient.
However
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, the negative effects are far more significant. To illustrate, excessive
pressure
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 can lead to stress, anxiety, and a loss of self-confidence among
children
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.
For example
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, some
children
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 may feel that their self-worth depends entirely on success, which can result in burnout or mental health problems at a young age. In extreme cases,
this
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pressure
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 may damage the parent–child relationship and reduce
children
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’s enjoyment of learning. To recapitulate, it is evident that
parents
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 put
pressure
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 on their
children
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 mainly
due to
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 competition and fear about future opportunities,
while
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 the
overall
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 impact of
this
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 trend is largely negative.
Therefore
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, I believe that
although
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 encouragement is important, excessive
pressure
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 does more harm than good, and
parents
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 should focus on supporting their
children
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’s well-being
as well as
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 their academic development.

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structure
Make the main idea of each paragraph clear in a short sentence at the start.
content
Balance the view by giving more detail on both the good and bad sides, with clear proof.
cohesion
Use more linking words to show how ideas link.
language
Use simple and correct grammar. Short, clear sentences are best.
conclusion
End with a clear view that matches the start.
task response
You give reasons and say if it is good or bad.
cohesion
There is a flow of ideas with easy links.
structure
The essay ends with a clear closing.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Excessive pressure
  • Academic achievements
  • Professional success
  • Secure future
  • Social comparison
  • Competitive environment
  • Psychological impact
  • Stress and anxiety
  • Resilience
  • Work ethic
  • Emotional well-being
  • Supportive parenting
  • Achievements
  • Life skills
  • Balance
What to do next:
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