IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the numer of new shops that opened in one coutry between 2011 and 2018.

This
Linking Words
 line graph illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of
shops
Use synonyms
 that closed and the
number
Use synonyms
 of new
shops
Use synonyms
 that opened in one country, comparing the figures over the given period from 2011 to 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of new
shops
Use synonyms
 that opened showed the highest figure,
while
Linking Words
 experiencing a downward trend. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
shops
Use synonyms
 that closed
also
Linking Words
 demonstrated an
overall
Linking Words
 downward trajectory. Despite there are
some
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 fluctuations between these two lines. In terms of
shops
Use synonyms
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
opened
Replace the word
open
show examples
shops
Use synonyms
 experienced a gradual decrease, dropping approximately from 8500 in 2011 to 4000 in 2012. Later,
this
Linking Words
 opening
shops
Use synonyms
 continued to rise steadily to roughly 6000 in 2014 and
finally
Linking Words
 dropped to 3000 by the end of the period.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the figure of closed
shops
Use synonyms
 witnessed at 6500 in 2011 and fell sharply to 6000 in 2012, despite a significant increase to around 7100 in 2013.
However
Linking Words
, it continued to drop to the lowest point of 500 in 2015, and climbed steadily to 5100 in 2016.
At the end
Linking Words
, it rose consistently towards the end at 5100 in 2018.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, shops with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "downward" was used 2 times.
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