Today, many people around the globe adapt the Korean culture too much. What problem is associated with this? What can be done about this?

Nowadays, a lot of individuals around the world have adapted to the
Korean
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lifestyle too much.
This
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is becoming an increasingly serious issue. There are several reasons why
this
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is happening. In
this
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essay, I will discuss the main cause of
this
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problem and suggest possible solutions.
ne
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The
main reason why
Korean
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culture
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is deceiving teenagers in other countries is social media. Through platforms like Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok, Korea showcases its
culture
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, including music, fashion, food, and even technological advancements and surgeries. One possible solution to
this
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issue is that parents should set
time
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limits on social media use until they become adults. By doing these, parents can teach their country’s
culture
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and traditions.
As a result
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, young people can learn something about the historical knowledge of their own country. Another reason for
this
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problem is the
Korean
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teenager's lifestyle.
Additionally
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, young
Korean
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people do whatever they want, which means they consume alcohol and even drugs.
This
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happens
due to
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parents not providing a great upbringing. To solve
this
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problem, adults should pay attention to their children about what they are doing in their free
time
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.
This
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would help the young generation with
time
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management, which means they will plan what they are going to do in their free
time
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.
Consequently
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, certain young individuals can learn about other countries’ cultures , but only
beneficial
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the beneficial
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cultures.
In addition
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, there is no bad or great country ; there are only immoral people. In conclusion, being curious about
Korean
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culture
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is mainly caused by their teenagers and freedom.
However
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, the issue can be reduced if effective measures are taken. With proper action, the situation can improve significantly.

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structure
Use a clear plan for each paragraph. Start with a short line that shows the main point, then add a reason or fact that supports it.
task achievement
Link each idea to the task. Say how the problem hurts people and how the fix can help. Make this clear.
language
Work on grammar and length. Keep to short, clean sentences. Check big errors such as 'deceiving' and 'ne main'
examples
Give more exact proof. Add an example for each idea to back it up.
coherence
Use better links between paragraphs. Use words like also, but, so, as a result to move ideas well.
content
The intro states the topic and plan.
content
There are clear examples of social media like Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok.
structure
The essay has a conclusion that restates idea.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Homogenization
  • Assimilation
  • Cultural exchange
  • Appreciation
  • Respect
  • Preservation
  • Balance
  • Embrace
  • Integration
  • Promote
  • Educate
  • Authentic
  • Commercialization
  • Sustainability
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